Reply to “You love them more than me now.” PPD in men.

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Reply to "“You love them more than me now.” PPD in men."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow this thread is like a PSA for how dismissive people are of mental health issues in this country. [/quote]

It's super scary how cavalier people are about saying OP married a "man-baby" instead of offering helpful advice to a new mom of 2 month old twins about how she can better support her struggling partner.  Oy. [/quote]

This. The double standard is unreal. [/quote]

It is not a double standard.  OP just gave birth to twins.  She may be breastfeeding, and she definitely is in a period of major hormonal upheaval.  There are times in a marriage when a spouse or family members needs support, and the other family members need to focus on them.  Immediately post-partum, the focus needs to be on mom and babies.  A few years from now, if DH has cancer, or is struggling with depression, or is just going through a rough patch, he has a right to expect that the focus will shift to him (though as a parent, you never get to neglect your kid, but you can dial it back).  Right now, it is acceptable for DH to take care of himself - he certainly has a right to say, I think I need to see a therapist, can we trade off taking breaks where we get alone time, or something like that.  He does not have a right to expect that [u]his wife[/u] will take care of him right now, or to guilt his wife for not doing that.  And when he goes through something as physically and emotionally demanding as childbirth, he is perfectly entitled to expect the same.  And I'm relaxed as they come as a parent, but vomiting in a 7-week old could be serious - babies that small can get really sick really fast.  Not only should her DH not have guilted her, but he should have cared enough about his own children not to dump them on a sitter when one was sick that young.[/quote]

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