Reply to “You love them more than me now.” PPD in men.

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Reply to "“You love them more than me now.” PPD in men."

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[quote=Anonymous]OP.  Ignore the people fighting over what constitutes as PPD and what doesn’t and the people making assumptions about your husband and your marriage.

I’m a twin mom who went though something similar except my birth was terrible and traumatic and I could not care for my twins at all until I was 2 weeks postpartum.  My husband and my in-laws took the huge brunt of the care while I was in the hospital and while I was home.  We had hired a nanny but didn’t plan on having her start till my twins were 8 weeks so we could overlap for 4 weeks before I went to work full-time.

We ended up asking her to come work for us two days after they came home from the hospital because all four of us were at our wits end.  Best decision we made as a family.  Saved our marriage, my health and our sanity.

A good newborn or postpartum nanny will know the parents are exhausted and stressed.  They tend to sense what needs to be done.  We ended up keeping her for two years and I tell everyone how much of a life saver it is to have a professional come and help.  So that’s my number one suggestion.  Get another pair of skilled hands involved ASAP.

As far as your DH, this we some.  I struggled with depression and for various reasons it took me a full year to bond with my babies.  I missed my old body.  I missed time with my husband.  I missed enjoyable sex.  I missed free time.  I told my husband I resented one of my twins because I had convinced myself she hated me (colicky, fussy baby).  Not my best time, but it happens.  I got help and he should too.  My husband was tired so couldn’t be my rock as much do branching out and finding other forms of support were necessary.  When you become parents you need to find as many people who can help as possible.  No shame.  It takes a village and it’s ridiculous to expect two people be able to handle it all on their own.

My twins are 5.5 now and it’s literally the best.  The first 6 months of completely hell were worth it.  I wouldn’t go back but I wish I would have enjoyed it a bit more.

Best of luck![/quote]

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