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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just say “my in-laws don’t help with the kids”.  What’s the big deal, it’s the truth.  [/quote]

You can say “My in-laws aren’t interested in the kids day to day lives. You’re so lucky to have involved grandparents- it sounds like such a blessing!”

Keep it short and turn it around on them. Say things like  “You’re so fortunate to have so much help from your mom!” Whenever they ask why don’t you can say you’re not as lucky as they are. I bet they’ll stop pressing. [/quote]

OP, you want to say, "wow, glad you don't have selfish parents like my in laws!"  You don't have to, people will figure that out themselves.  My good friend has in laws that would rather travel the world than drive down the street to see their small grandchildren.  Guess what?  The grandchildren are getting older and will judge for themselves.  Some grandparents think that as long as they have their daughter's children taken care of, having baby-sat tirelessly for them, then they "did their job".  But, it tells you what kind of parents they were - terrible. People aren't stupid.  You don't have to spell it out for them. [/quote]

OP here. You are right, and I think people are figuring it out. Another common one I hear is “I didn’t know your inlaws live here!” In my head I’m like, well yeah it’s hard to tell.[/quote]

PP here.  You don't really need to say much, the situation generally speaks for itself - it says "yeah, they are a-holes, they have time to travel the world, but not for their small grandchildren down the street", without you having to use those words.  Believe me, people generally get it without you having to spell it out for them - it speaks volumes about the ILs as people, and how they treat your innocent children.  Bonus, they know your personality, and if you are generally quite easy to get along with, then the matter speaks for itself. In my good friend's case, the MIL is absolutely rigid, selfish and inward - just an impossible person, in general -  such that she will only make time for her own daughter's children, who are now grown.  My good friend's children are old enough to see what is really happening, so my friend keeps her opinions to herself (always has, she is actually a sweet person), because it is obvious what is really happening.  If it were me, I don't think I would have the patience my friend has LOL - she is quite an amazing example.  Be like her, take the higher ground.  Yes, your MIL is older and should know better and be the better example, but she is not, so just ignore her. [/quote]

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