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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Perhaps the reason DH’s grandparents were so involved with him and his parents are so not involved with his kids is that they just inherently don’t “do” children well.  Some people just don’t.  Do you want you kids with people who don’t enjoy being with them?  Their genetic ties doesn’t make an automatic emotional relationship.

My in-laws live 20 mins away.  They try; they really do.  But they are just different than what I’m used to in my warm, fuzzy family.  My children have never spent the night there.  They have never volunteered to babysit and I feel uncomfortable asking.  DH will ask them maybe twice a year if we have something we both really have to go to.  My MIL once invited my oldest out on a “special day.”  They went shopping at a high-end grocery market, ate lunch there, and then went to Macy’s to buy towels.  My son was 6.  She just doesn’t get it.  I stopped wishing for what I want their relationship to look like because it’s not even that they don’t want to have that relationship, I honestly think they don’t know how to have it.  But we go out to dinner together a lot and DH checks in with them by phone very often.  That seems to satisfy everyone.

I think your friends are mighty presumptuous.  What if your kids grandparents had health issues or disabilities?  Would they judge their absence as harshly?  
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OP here and you are totally right. It’s not that I want to force a relationship with THESE grandparents. It’s that I wish my kids had better, more loving and interested grandparents. But as you said, my kids will figure it out on their own. The oldest already sort of is.[/quote]

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