Reply to Divorce over chores and WOHM

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][OP:  You’re very right that the littlest one is not going to remember, so I am doing it more for me.   I want to nurture a close relationship between the kids, the cousins and grandparents.  Is it considered frantic socializing in DC to see family and friends once a week on Sat and Sun (any given individual is visited only once a month or so, except one cousin for play dates)?  DH is an introvert and would always prefer to see no one but us (immediate family = kids and me).  In States south of DC, you just spend your time with family. Honest question—I’m not being obnoxious. [/quote]

From what I’ve observed, Sunday dinner at the parents house with siblings and kids plus birthdays, holidays and vacation together is someone that sees their family a decent amount here.  Then there are grandparents that help out, so you see them at carpoool pickup and they also come to school play, sports, etc.  I would say those people are close to their family. There is isubtext around time, money, health of parents, no one sibling feeling like it all falls on them or that conversely no one ever comes to them, that the spouse of the person near the parents still feeels like the primary unit etc that people have to figure out/make work.[/quote]

I like to see family even less frequently.  It's about the health of your family not everyone in your extended family.[/quote]

I was just posting to OP about what it looks like to see family a lot around here.  Usually it’s NOT about hosting every weekend and having folks on Saturday and Sunday.  People are busy with their plans with the kids (soccer, ice hockey, swimming etc,) plus getting downtime to relax, plus run errands/get house stuff done, and find time to spend time with spouse on the weekend. So something like Sunday dinner, that’s on a schedule, and doesn’t require you to have everybody over your house but going over to yours parents (this gives you like 80% of the weekend to do other things) or integrating your parents into the the things you are already doing with the kids (like going to your kids soccer game) are ways to spend time without necessarily doing so at the expense of the relationship with your spouse or at the expense of keeping up with what you need to do at home.[/quote]

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