Reply to I'm afraid that my daughter is not very smart and I'm worried about her future job prospects

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymou[b]s]I don't understand why ok thinks you have to be smart or have a high processing speed to hold a full time job. I don't understand why she isn't hearing everyone telling her that.[/b] I am guessing she is mourning some highhigh achieving version of her daughter but can't say so since it is a little bit socially taboo to want that so instead she's convinced herself her daughter won't be able to hold a job.[/quote]

OP here.  I have been trying hard not to get angry with the posters like you, but I'm getting quite frustrated. What can I say?  I'm her mother, I know what she's like and from what I see of her she seems like she will be very impacted on the job.  And no, I'm not just talking about high achieving jobs.  I think the job she would have the absolute hardest time with is a being a waiter.  Yes, I get that there are people who aren't particularly smart or have high processing speeds who do fine. But my daughter is very negatively impacted by her slow processing speed.  On most days, I try to tell myself the things that many others have said, oh she'll mature and it will get better, things will work out.  But on other days, like today, when I'm being truly honest with myself, I can't help but admit to myself that I have a very hard time imagining her holding onto anything but the most rudimentary job. [/quote] well keep believing there's a big problem when there isn't then. Yea waitress is really hard. I was terrible at it. Most jobs do not require you be fast, but waitress is one that does.  Anyway when most of dcum believes one thing, it's rare and usually true, but keep clinging to the one poster who agreed with you . . 
 [/quote]

You know what?  It's possible for it to be both.  It is possible that it is something that OP's DD will mature and grow out of.  And it's also possible that it's not.  But some parents like to do what they can early on to help their children with obstacles that they see in their path.  It doesn't mean that she's automatically assuming a disaster of catastrophic proportions or that she's overemphasizing a problem that may not develop.  She has said that on good days she agrees with the majority, but on bad days, she worries.  How many of you identify a potential problem for your child, decide that it won't be a problem and never worry about it again?  I think all of us have fears that a certain tendency or trait in our children may become a bigger problem and while we don't dwell on it, we do worry about it from time to time.  And if there is something you can do about it, to help your child in the future, you do.

So, as I mentioned up-thread (and several other PPs have as well), it is important for OP to look at her DD's strengths and try to encourage and develop those strengths into something that may help her in the future.  So, for example, OP has said that she's a good and avid dancer.  That can be developed.  Even without particular studying aptitude, one can become a good dancer, choreographer, dance captain, or teacher. A love of dance can also lead to other options when combined with other skills.  I've known good dancers who were able to combine this skill with other skills to be employed.  One of the women who coaches the roller skating team at our roller rink has been a lifelong roller skater and has a background in dance.  She teaches roller-skating lessons and classes and then she also coaches the teen teams and helps them choreograph dance moves.  Her dance training helps her a lot.  Same with ice skating.  I'm originally from Pittsburgh.  The classic story is that after it was discovered that Lynn Swann credited his ballet dance background with helping him that many local teams got dance teachers to help their players with coordination, balance and agility skills.

So while it isn't a disaster, being concerned about your child's future and looking for ways to help her do the best with the skills she has, can be a positive thing in a parent.[/quote]

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