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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Baby Boomers didn't move for jobs as much as gen x and millennials. This even though we moved far away they still expect to see us on every holiday. They want the same kinds of togetherness their families forced on them before except we all live far away.

I like my MIL but she's totally hands off and doesn't care about our family. Just wants us to visit her, never visits us or helps us. I think she's forgotten how hard babies and toddlers are and she never traveled with her so. [/quote]

Maybe she remembers and is too tired to want to do you and your husband's jobs...ie raise your own kids!  No one should expect or demand help.  That doesn't mean "she doesn't care about your family"  Doesn't she get a chance to enjoy life ?[/quote]

Absolutely!  And I'm sure she'll understand when her kids are too busy to help her, right?[/quote]

Wait, did she or did she not take care of your spouse and any siblings when they were children? For roughly eighteen years apiece? Does that not deserve any kind of appreciation in her old age, or does she also have to take care of your children to “earn” some help when she’s older?

She needs to raise her own kids and then give lots of help in raising her grandchildren so that people won’t be too busy to help her when she gets old, is that right?

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After a certain age didn't the kids help to clean the house, cook dinner, mow the lawn, run errands, etc while the parent was raising them?  Maybe they got 3 bucks for picking up the dog poop in the yard or 5 bucks to organize the garage? [/quote]

Do you really think a few chores around the house are the equivalent of taking care of a child’s physical and emotional needs for many years? Thankfully, most parents are not adding up and expecting their kids to do enough chores around the house to reimburse their parents for all the time and money being spent on them. 
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Do you not think that parents are actually responsible for raising their own children?  They chose to have kids because they wanted to have children.  That does not entitle them to cheap or free labor for the rest of their lives.  If they want their adult children to be there for them decades after their kids left the nest, then they really do need to make it a point to be in their adult children's lives.  Reciprocal relationships flourish.  One sided situations dry up.[/quote]

So, they were responsible for raising their own children, but you shouldn’t have to be responsible for raising yours because they should be helping. And if they don’t help you, you’ll show them and be too busy to help them when they are elderly and possibly ill. Got it.

(Did you not also choose to have your children because you wanted children? How is your choice to have children different from their choice to have children  were young?)
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