Reply to 12 year old hit nanny. WWYD?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It was a mistake for you to post this out if the s/n forum. A lot of the same old same old  with sn parents must be not disciplining their kids because they are a kid with behavior issues crap.

You people are nasty and should be ashamed of yourselves.  
[/quote]

Absolutely they are not. I'm a teacher and have worked with special needs kids. Twelve year old kids are big. If they can be violent due to special needs, this needs to be explicitly dealt with so the child is with adults that are specially trained. The fact this poster asked WWYD shows the poster has not properly dealt with this issue. If a twelve year old child is hitting, and this is expected due to previous experience with this child, then it shouldn't be a surprise by the parent on how to handle this issue.

It sounds like this child is not high special needs. Just because certain special needs behaviors are present does not excuse violence by this child. Yes, the child needs to be disciplined. Let me tell you, this would not be tolerated in a public school. If a twelve year old is hitting due to a perceived special need, they would be moved from any mainstream classes. OP needs to deal with this so this child understands this is a full stop no. We've received no information from OP to imply this child is high special needs to the point of not understanding this. If OP doesn't deal with this, it is going to be worse for this child because someone else will, whether it's the public school system or whoever else. These excuses are exactly why it's so difficult to fill special needs positions in schools and why people leave the teaching profession because so many parents bury their head in the sand. [/quote]

NOBODY EXCUSED IT DUMB*SS. Seriously. You sound like a teacher with no understanding of SN behaviors. Sadly, not surprising. [/quote]

You sound pretty educated yourself. A child on the very functional end of the spectrum, like OP stated,  is not generally as violent and aggressive as the situation is described. Sometimes parents use these diagnosis as a way of avoiding other serious behavioral issues when in fact they are disciplinary issues that escalate because they’ve not been dealt with. Happens all the time. Parenting sn kids is exhausting and beyond difficult.[/quote]

Again, nobody "excused" the behavior. Nobody said OP doesn't need to do more. Nobody said not go care about the nanny's safety. All we said is that with a kid on the spectrum, harsh tactics and moralistic punishing instincts are not going to work. [/quote]

DP.  You are not listening to the message from at least one teacher and one therapist that I can tell.  The 12 year old child HIT an adult twice.  The consequences of that need to be significant.

It is unnerving that OP is posting here asking WWYD.  This shows that OP is not doing a good job of parenting and really needs to do a better job of parenting.  She can do that by working with her child's therapy team, her child's educators and others.  OP most certainly should be undertaking some sort of parenting classes and perhaps including the nanny in those classes.

Frankly it sounds like the child should be staying after school for extended day care and not being released at the school day's end.  And everyone involved should be working with the child to set a BIP in place so that this behavior is extinguished before it escalates.[/quote]

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