Reply to Examples of alimony

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Examples of alimony"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a friend going through a divirce. She is almost 60-one child still underage and living at home. She has been married for over 30 years. Quit work over 20 years ago when they started a family as husband worked insanely long hours in Big Law—as husband wanted her to do. It worked best fir the family and for his career fir her to remain home throughout the years. Now she is pushing 60, no job prospects, no marketable skills—she damn well deserves alimony. He benefited from few responsibilities at home and liked it that way. Fortunately, he agrees and will do the right thing by this woman he is throwing away because he wants to feel young again. [/quote]
How in the world does a 60 yo woman have an underage child?!  And how could this child be so young and needy as to prevent her from working? If she has more than 50% custody, she would be getting child support and she should go get damned job. Being a SAHM is a benefit of marriage: that ends when the marriage ends.

At 60, she (and her ex-husband both) should be nearing retirement..... when both would live off their retirement assets... that were already split 50/50 upon divorce. In other words, neither one would have any income, neither would deserve (or be able to pay) alimony, both are living off their retirement...and they have equal retirement.

As to all those benefits he received while they were married: why do you think he should provide ongoing benefits to her (alimony) while she has ceased providing any benefits to him?

If (if) any alimony is deserved, the law should require her to work an equal number of hours per week as her alimony-paying ex-husband. Oh and the day she retires from work, he too can retire (and stop paying alimony). Anything else would be totally unfair to him.[/quote] The man in this instance has no interest in retirement.  He loves his work and plans to continue indefinitely--so retirement won't be touched and likely left for children.   With regard to nearing 60 and still having a child at home--happens all the time.  Last child at 42 and and 56-58 --easy.    He definitely believes he should pay alimony so it is non-issue here.  He knows he benefited from her being home so he could pursue his career.  Not all men are assholes.[/quote]
It's not "being an asshole" to expect your able-bodied ex spouse to have a freeking job, rather than living off the continued hard work of a former husband. In fact, I would argue the opposite: SHE is the asshole to not be working fulltime like any other normal person does (including her ex husband).[/quote]

He agreed for her to stay home.  She is not an asshole for not working full-time.  Many people don't work full time. She stayed home to raise their kids, which is equally if not more valuable than working given they can afford it.  Would it be better to have two working parents whom the kids don't see?  Why have kids a that point.  Assuming he cheated, he failed their marriage contract, not her and he should support her life long. There is a huge difference getting divorced at 30 and at 60.[/quote]

His agreement that she stay home was in exchange for some supposed benefits that she was providing that enabled him to succeed in his career (or so that’s the prevailing argument in favor of alimony). But those benefits to him ended when the marriage ended. You can’t continue to hold him accountable to that agreement: she is no longer providing any benefits to him.

Kids are in school most of the day so why isn’t she working fulltime?  Only wealthy people, or married people who provide mutual support, have the luxury of choosing for one spouse to not work a full time job. She isn’t married or rich so she does not deserve the option to not work full time at his expense.

His cheating is irrelevant. Courts don’t care about that and you don’t know his reasons, perhaps she no longer wanted sex.
[/quote]

Cheating is relevant and counts to his character.  So, its ok a man just decides to up and cheat/divorce and should not be accountable for his prior obligations to his family.

There are plenty of things she can be doing during the day when kids are at school.  Kids are not at school year round, get sick, holidays, etc.  A real man wouldn't cheat on his wife and abandon his family.  So yes he should be held accountable.  Just like a woman who cheats and leaves for her AP should not be entitled to alimony as let the new man care for her.  And, if he's working that much, he probably isn't that active with the kids or does anything for the house.  Depending on her income, a nanny and housekeeping could cost a lot more.  And, in our case, my taking care of his mom... its not always that easy to replace a spouse.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics