Reply to Is it ok to host a birthday party but only ask a few of the kids to sleep over?

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Reply to "Is it ok to host a birthday party but only ask a few of the kids to sleep over?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
“And this thread clearly shows why this generation of kids are so emotionally fragile. How is not being included in a sleepover such a traumatic event that there are pages and pages of adults labeling OP's child a mean girl....when she clearly was just trying to include the other five girls in some part of the day so they wouldn't feel bad? It's fine to say, hey, I think it might hurt the girls' feeling so I wouldn't do it. However, the over the top painting of OP's daughter as some rude mean girl is just insane. You are not doing your girls any favors if this is how you react to minor issues.”

This.[/quote]

Nobody said it was a traumatic event. [b] But it is hurtful and mean.[/b]  Ask yourself this if you can be kind why wouldn't you chose that?    I get the impression from you and op's dd that the "B" girls should be so honored to be invited to part of the party...they are so lame that surely they should be thrilled at getting the crumbs...meanwhile the girls really know the deal.  They are not true friends and it looks like a gift grab.

I wouldn't want to go to a dinner party and told to leave before the dinner...would you?  the girls probably would understand if they weren't invited because they are not close friends.  I can't believe anyone wouldn't see how mean it is to invite someone to only part of the event.  These girls would feel worse if they were invited and excluded rather than excluded altogether.[/quote]

Why? They were invited to the larger party. So they are not "B" list. But, in our case, the parents said you can pick 2 girls to stay over. The sleeping bags were not visible, the birthday girl was instructed not to discuss it at the party and it wasn't.

Repeat this as needed:[b] you can't be expected to be invited to everything.[/b] And there may be reasons beyond "friendship" as to why you weren't invited. That is what we teach our daughter when she is not invited to things. If all girls but one or two were invited to sleep over, you may have a point with "mean" or "hurtful." But, sorry, I am just not able to agree with it otherwise.[/quote]

How difficult would it be for you just to invite the people you want to sleep over to the party?  Please don't invite my dd out of pity and a gift.  If my dd isn't a friend that is totally fine.  Why pretend that that she is only good for the crumbs?

How hard is it for you to grasp?  We totally get that not everyone is invited so please do not invite my dd if you intend to be so exclusionary!  It is much better to not go to ANY party than a party you describe.  You think you are doing the b girls a favor that they should be "honored" and "grateful" and we are telling you that your party is not the highlight of our lives and you should get over yourself.

[/quote]

Who said anything about feeling honored or grateful?  Who ever feels honored or grateful to be invited to a birthday party?  Also, while I don't know how much OP is spending on the party, I usually spend more per guest on the party than my kids get in gifts, so I wouldn't jump to conclusions about the invitation is just to get gifts.  OP actually came here to ask a question so she would know what was the best thing to do, likely so she wouldn't offend anyone.  Why all the animosity?[/quote]

Actually, I have zero animosity for the op but, for the defenders of this practice.  I am responding to those who are calling us "snowflakes" and telling us at least you are being invited to some of the party.  This is very insulting.  Your parties are not all that and to act like someone should be grateful just to be invited to part of the party is very ridiculous.[/quote]

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