Reply to Wife wants to move from city to small hometown, I don't

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Ummm.  Do you think that she would have quit her job, married you and had 3 kids and provided round the clock 24/7 care of them... for the opportunity to own *half* of "your" house?

Can you see yourself jumping at the opportunity to do the same?

Come on.  You married this woman and you agreed that she would stay at home with your children while you worked for the income to support your family.  If you are beginning to regret this agreement you should really talk to her about it.  Figure out what you both want and need to be happy.[/quote]

Let's say I own a $2 million house, and I don't owe anything on it.

Let's say she has nothing but a few thousand dollars saved.

Then I say to her, I'm putting your name on the house title, and now you are a millionaire.

I think that's a good trade for not working for 8 years.

-OP[/quote]

Did you marry this woman or did you sign a contractual business agreement with her.  Is she your wife or a rather ungrateful and difficult employee?

Op, your wife needs to move with the children to be closer to her family.  If you want to go with them then figure out a town that is closer to her hometown.  If you really don't want to be married than you need to discuss that with your wife, too.

You sound truly conflicted.  I hope things get better.

[/quote]

She's a woman who relentlessly pursued him for several years before finally trapping him into marriage by getting pregnant and choosing to keep the baby. From OP's perspective, it was a type of arrangement, and he was clear on that. I don't know what you want from him. He was clear about his plans and personal limits all throughout the relationship. She accepted those. Turns out it was great for her since she had a dead-end job that she didn't like. Admin jobs are pretty easy to find, so I can't imagine that she was the type of star employee who would slowly rise up through the ranks as a PP suggested... not when her job merely paid the bills and there was a long commute and she jumped at the chance of being a SAHM.

OP, what were your plans for now that the kids are getting older? Have you been indicating to your wife that you expect her to go back to work after the youngest is in school? Maybe the wife is actually seeing the writing on the wall and trying to set up a scenario where she doesn't need to ever work again (e.g. "oh this town is so small, how can I possibly find a job here? I've been out of the workforce for 10 years! And I have no education!" etc).[/quote]

You make this poor woman sound like a stalker when Op actually said that he and his wife had a friendship for years that eventually blossomed into a romance which led to them getting married and having 3 children together.

Op was upfront about not wanting to move to a small town but his wife was apparently upfront about her desire to get married, have kids and be at SAHM.  They got involved with and married each other knowing these things about each other.  Apparently, the relationship has been mutually beneficial to both of them because they have had three children together over the span of 8 years.

Honestly, I think that she probably is feeling overwhelmed with the constant 24/7 childcare responsibilities and the idea of having some back up care from her family and friends sounds really appealing to her.  Anyone who thinks that staying home with three young kids is easy is not around children very much.[/quote]

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