Reply to women's invisible labor - anyone had luck getting spouse to take on more of the mental work?

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Reply to "women's invisible labor - anyone had luck getting spouse to take on more of the mental work?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not the signing up for camp and making doctor's appointments, it is the responsibility to remember that those type of things need to be done.

Not the OP, but I don't always want to be the one assigning those tasks, sometimes I would rather have them assigned to me. Besides work (FT), I have to juggle all that stuff in my head.

Sometimes I want to be the one who is told where and when to show up. Too much to ask, maybe? [/quote]
That isn't 'mental labor'.  Unless you are seriously handicapped, as an adult you have to notice that things need to be done and do them. What you call "Mental Labor" appears to be what was formerly known as "Nagging". Your husband would likely appreciate it if you stopped the "Mental Labor" altogether.  I expect that is why he doesn't tell you what to do and where to be, you know "do unto others ... " [/quote]

Fine, it is so easy? Then let him do it. But it doesn't happen. I'm guessing you are a SAHM. [/quote]
If you let him do it, what he thinks needs to be done, will be done by him and you will not have to 'mentally labor' over it. You are then free to notice other stuff that needs to be done, and do it. Why would you think that I was a SAHM? [/quote]

You mean it wouldn't get done.  This is why I'm the one who carries the health insurance and the dental insurance.  This is why I'm the only one with an FSA and DCFSA enrollment.  This is why I had to go term life insurance shopping after DH didn't up his FEGLI enrollment.  I'm fine with having things that aren't important drop, but our financial stability and our family's health is important.

We have a freaking hole in our half bath ceiling where we had to go in to clean out a bird's nest.  It's been there for more than 6 months.  How much longer should I wait for him to think it's important enough to get a handyman out to fix it?

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Lol.  You're just being a martyr, silly woman!  Who cares if there's a bird nest in your bathroom or a hole in the ceiling.  Entirely optional work!  [/quote]

Who cares if you have health insurance or if you can't make it financially if your spouse dies.  Completely optional.  I mean, people live in cardboard boxes all the time!
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