Reply to Closed Adoption and found the birth mother

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[quote=Anonymous]I am not trying to underplay the emotions your sister is feeling, but I think what she did was egregious.

I think she has a right to attempt to reach out to her birth mother. But she does not have a right to do that through BM's children/relatives. If your sister had the means (or your parents did), she should have hired a private investigator to try to find BM and reach our privately. Sadly, I suspect the outcome may have been different if she had done this.

Can you imagine if you'd given a child up for adoption at 15 either from rape or bad judgement or if it was just very painful, as it must be, and then out of the blue 25 years later your children and their cousins were contacted by the child you gave up? That is really a violation of all kinds of things, and though I do recognize your sister's pain, I can't imagine the world of hurt and shock it brings the BM and her family.

Also, it sounds as if your parents told you sister she *may* get access to BM when she turns 18 throughout her childhood, knowing she wouldn't? That's really horrible, and makes it easier to understand your sister's wayward approach to this. [/quote]

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