Reply to S/O: So what do men find attractive?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Late 30's caucasian male here, senior executive at a top 20 global brand.  With the same woman since college (married), and have undergrad and grad degrees from top 10 schools.  Giving that context only because I think different kinds of men like different kinds of women.

I think it is interesting that 95+% of responses have revolved on looks, when the question is "what do men find attractive".  For me:

- Global mindset - I would not be attracted to a woman that had no interest in traveling, experiencing other cultures, etc.  I lived in NYC and found many women who have no interest in ever leaving, and think the world revolves around that city.  If a woman has international experience (living or traveling), I find that attractive.

- Interested in sex - A few have mentioned this, but this is very important for me.  I want someone who is going to be active in the bedroom, not a dead fish.  Giving is great, but I want a woman who is emotive and communicative, and likes to receive as well.  Verbally and non-verbally, it is important to me that you like to be touched, and express it.

- Education and drive - I am attracted to intelligent, driven women.  There is a line, certainly, and many women cross it.  But I find smart sexy.

- Fitness - I hate to say it, but I know enough people who married women and they just blew up, gaining 50-100 pounds.  That would be hard on me.  I don't need you to have a perfect body, but I generally like thin women.  My wife is a size 0 or 2.

- Hair - I think this get underrepresented.  My wife fits almost all of my criteria except hair, and unfortunately, she knows it.  I love long, this, beautiful hair.  Her hair is brittle, so she has to keep it relatively short.  I hate to say it, but only the most beautiful of women can pull off really short cuts, and even they would look better with longer hair.  This is the easiest way for a woman to drastically decrease her attractiveness, is to cut all her hair off.   I completely get that it is a lot of work, but I think hair is just as important as body, maybe more so.

- Skin - Many women have beautiful skin, including my wife.  I love it.  I know a few attractive women that have leathery skin from sunbathing.  It's a massive turnoff.  Wear sunscreen.

- Kindness - If you're bitchy / unfriendly to others, especially service staff, that's a massive turnoff.  On the flip side, if you smile / are friendly to everyone, that is a massive turn on.

I'm ultra-picky.  A couple examples of women I know that many would consider extremely attractive, but I wouldn't want to be in a LTR with:

- My wife's sister.  Beautiful face, hair, and body.  Smart, hard working, kind.  But not into being touched, physical affection, or sex.  I know this because of both my wife and brother in law.  I feel sorry for the guy.  He has a supermodel who just goes through the motions to keep him happy in the bedroom.

- My wife's best friend.  Again, beautiful face, hair, and a good (but not perfect) body.  Very smart and driven.  The kind of girl that gets hit on constantly at bars, and is a giant flirt.  I used to have a bit of a crush on her, but watched her turn into an absolute witch with her ex-husband, who was a good guy.  She's the type that everyone thinks is an absolute saint / angel, but has a dark side.

- Another of my wife's close friends.  Beautiful face, hair, average body.  Great boobs.  She was a 9/10 when she was younger, and guys that like curvy girls would think she was an 11.  Great personality.  Has gained probably 3 pounds per year for the past 15 years straight.  Just no interest in working out.  Her sister has the same face, hair, and boobs, but is a size 4.  Looks like a supermodel.

-  Former coworker.  Great body (D1 track athlete), pretty face, hyper-intelligent and successful ($500k+ annual income by herself), great personality.  Keeps cutting her hair, and it's now probably as short as mine.  Never wears makeup, or particularly attractive clothing.  If she put in a bit of effort, she'd be a 9/10.[/quote]

So the last woman fails your "test" because she keeps cutting her hair and never wears make up? Your response pretty much revolves around looks, even though you would like to think otherwise. lol[/quote]

Yes. The question was “What do men find attractive?”  I gave her as an example of someone so focused on her career that it impacted her attractiveness. I know she wanted to meet someone, but wasn’t having any luck.  Obviously I was not going to suggest growing her hair back out.

I listed 8 attributes, if you separate intelligence and ambition. 5 relate to personality, 3 to looks.  I think it goes without saying that looks play a role in attraction, but I do not believe they are the be-all, end-all. [/quote]

I can understand you thinking she might need long hair to catch some new eyes. But if you have known this woman for a while and would not want to be in a long term relationship with her because of her hair and make up, she deserves more than you can offer. And you possibly deserve more than she can offer too, who knows...

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