Reply to DW work is impacting our marriage - looking for advice from the smart people of DCUM

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Comparing his first 7 years to her last 3 years isn't apples to oranges. He had the entire financial burden of the family to carry. That's not to blame her -- she was doing her part by maintaining the home front. But the fact is that she's not confronting a similar financial situation when making decisions about how to balance work and family. [/quote]

OP isn’t worried about the financial burden, apparently. He just cannot handle the burden of deciding if it’s spaghetti or filet for dinner every night, and thinks this should be up to his wife. Well, that and the whole she should be available for sex thing.

OP had his wife’s support for YEARS, in a much more difficult transaction (being SAH). She supported his needs and wants for years. He wouldn’t likely be in the position he is now without her. Her income after many years out of the workforce is nothing to sneeze at, plus it sounds she feels work is part of her identity. It’s her turn. What he is being asked to do is no more than a lot of women are this board are tasked with.

I just think OP likes to feel like “the man” and has certain gender role sterotypes in his mind, whether he sees it or not. [/quote]

You are so absorbed in your political rhetoric that [b]you've lost sight of the fact that this woman is spending almost zero time with her children[/b].  That is not the norm for working moms.[/quote]

You made that up. She's home for dinner at least 4 nights a week and spends all weekend with them.  More time than he spent with them when she was a SAHM.

People on this board are such zealots that they can't even argue from a position of good faith.[/quote]

Actually op never said one way or other what occurs on weekends, but that his wife is not home for 90 percent of weeknight dinners.  You actually are the one making assumptions that aren't based on what has been posted.[/quote]

He said point blank that she's home Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  He also said she dedicates all her energy to the kids and he's left with "scraps."  I get that you think you're really sticking it to feminists or whatever, but you're misrepresenting the thread.[/quote]

This is taken verbatim from op's first post  post:

know she is trying to make up for "lost" time and I don't mind that she works [b]but getting home at 8pm or later everyday does not a happy home make.[/b]That said, she really loves what she does and it shows. She pours her heart and soul into her work a[b]nd that leaves very little for us at home. What is leftover goes to the kids. [/b]

I guess the way we comprehend that -- "whatever is leftover" sounds like a lot less to me than you.  I've always made six figures as a working mom, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've missed dinner with my kids.  Arguing that this woman's home life is just like any other working woman is a farce.  [/quote]

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