Reply to Multi-generation Princeton double-legacy. DC doesn't want to go there...help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

It seems like my deal would be 
1.  Apply to Princeton and anywhere else that you want but go wherever you want.  
2.  Not discuss college at all for the next 4-5 months.

If he finds a better school (for him) that he gets into then you will need to let him go.  But if you are right and Princeton is his ticket, you should let the schools tell him that.  He sounds smart and disciplined.  If your family stops making this into melodrama I suspect he will choose the right path.

OP, I went to Princeton.  I hated it so much I transferred to another, equally prestigious school (and perhaps more so in my chosen major).   Two of my three freshman roommates also hated it and spent 4 miserable years. They told me they wished they'd had the guts to transfer.  There really are better schools for some people and no school is the end all be all.    But this isn't about Princeton in particular -- at my new school I was thrilled but saw people who also would have been happier elsewhere, but who went because it was the most prestigious school they got into.

If your son is this adamant he may just be contrary, but he is probably also be telling you he may need a different path.  Give him a chance to do it reasonably. [/quote]

NP. I'm genuinely curious, why did you hate Princeton?[/quote]

I don't mean this in a snarky way.  I think I hate it because I was not from a family like OP's at all.  I was a great student and an intellectual, but from a professional upper middle class immigrant family.  I was a child prodigy and really, really smart.

I was told I should go to a place like Princeton (or Harvard or whatever) because it was the best.  What I wanted was the best, most rigorous academics.  But there are really two things "best" colleges mean now.  One is that, to a real extent, but schools like HYP are as much or more about social connections and polish and the pursuit of a privileged life.  These are all things that are reasonable to aspire to.  But I am not so motivated by these things -- I really wanted to learn.

There is a great math and a great physics department at Princeton, as great as anywhere.  But I wanted to be a great computer scientist.  I was much happier at another HYPSM school that had that culture.  And I am very successful now because I took advantage of it, more so than I would have been at Princeton.  Princeton has good CS but no entrepreneurial paradigm upsetting culture in engineering outside of pure theory.

But my roommates also hated it.  I think really the issue was that all of us had the academic credentials to be there but not the social skills and/or interest to navigate Princeton's social scene.  [/quote]

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