Reply to Multi-generation Princeton double-legacy. DC doesn't want to go there...help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

[b]It seems like my deal would be 
1.  Apply to Princeton and anywhere else that you want but go wherever you want.  
2.  Not discuss college at all for the next 4-5 months.  [/b]

If he finds a better school (for him) that he gets into then you will need to let him go.  But if you are right and Princeton is his ticket, you should let the schools tell him that.  He sounds smart and disciplined.  If your family stops making this into melodrama I suspect he will choose the right path.

OP, I went to Princeton.  I hated it so much I transferred to another, equally prestigious school (and perhaps more so in my chosen major).   Two of my three freshman roommates also hated it and spent 4 miserable years. They told me they wished they'd had the guts to transfer.  There really are better schools for some people and no school is the end all be all.    But this isn't about Princeton in particular -- at my new school I was thrilled but saw people who also would have been happier elsewhere, but who went because it was the most prestigious school they got into.

If your son is this adamant he may just be contrary, but he is probably also be telling you he may need a different path.  Give him a chance to do it reasonably. [/quote]

OP here. Thank you this makes a lot of sense. [/quote]

I am the poster of this idea.  Glad you like it!    Now you just need to get the rest of your family on board with this plan.

I will also say this gently -- you and your family need a little more reflection.  Even by the snooty standards of DCUM your  posts sound almost trollish -- you guys really have no idea how overprivileged you sound (oh the teasing if he attended a *lesser* ivy!)   Perhaps you are just letting yourself speak honestly on an anonymous board but you may want to examine your thinking.  In particular, college is clearly a big part of your family, but it is really contextual.  Vey, very few people share your history with a college or even know more than a few people who do.  Even on this board.
And for success, other connections and accomplishments are really key.  Skills are key.  There aren't as many places who will hire you just because you went to Princeton anymore -- it's really the whole person and all the things you've done and of course, yes your family and connections as much as ever.  But if you focus on all the things you, your son and family have accomplished a little more I think you'll be in better shape.  And yes, you need to understand that going to UC Berkeley or even Columbia isn't exactly the end of the world for people, even in Princeton means a lot in particular in your family.  Focus your standards and expectations more broadly.  The 21st century is going to be as different from the 20th as the 19th was from the 20th.  It's a bumpy ride and I'm not sure how colleges are going to fare.  It's not that they will evaporate but they will mean something different, surely, in 50 years than they do now.
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