Reply to At what point does a favor become a burden?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP, and wow, this really took off.

To clear some things up: 
-It will be a month this week I’ve been doing this. 
-We drive because we are in a gated community and the bus picks up at the front.
-We could walk, but I head right to work. I don’t have time to walk back.
-Yes, it takes an extra 10 minutes because I don’t want to be late for any reason and then have to drive them all to school. I’ve been allowing extra time in case someone is running behind. [/quote]

This just doesn't seem like a big deal to me and it's no doubt a huge help to her. Are her kids routinely late? Do they bring food and leave your car a mess? Are they rude to you or your kids?  If not, just suck it up and help her out. It sounds like you don't have to leave 10 minutes earlier, that is just your preference. [/quote]

I agree. I can't believe no one else picked up on the fact that OP doesn't have to take those 10 extra minutes she's complaining about but that she is deciding to leave 10 minutes early just in case someone happens to be running late.

OP, tell your neighbor that you have to leave for the bus at 7.30 and that you can't be late. If her kids aren't outside at 7.30, she'll have to find another way that day.[/quote]
This is OP. Look, I leave 10 minutes earlier than usual because I can’t afford to be late to work. With the bus schedule, I barely make it as it is. If someone I can’t find a shoe, or is still stuffing papers in backpacks, or whatever, I can’t afford to miss the bus and drive them all to school. I just can’t. So I make sure we are collected and at the stop early enough. That’s *my* schedule. It’s what I have to do to ensure I make it to work on time. [/quote]

So you leave early for your own kids anyway? Are the other kids late ever? I think it would be fine for you to say you can't wait around for the kids if they are late and their mom will just have to drive them. But really, 10 minutes is such a very small thing. If that is all that is making you feel put out, you need to relax.

And surely things can happen on your own commute that could cause you to be late. Do you have this much anxiety about that too?[/quote]

OP - this is what I don't get.  In your original post, you clearly say that you are leaving 10 minutes earlier than you normally would to help your neighbor.  then, here, you say that you are basically leaving 10 minutes early for your kids.  You can still TALK to your neighbor and explain that you HAVE to be at the bus at 7:30 (or 7:20 or whatever is good FOR YOU) and that her kid must be outside at that time or she'll have to find another way that day.

I get that you feel like you are being put out a lot, but there could be a win-win here.  Her having to take her kid to school every once in a while if her kid can't find her shoe, stuffing her backpack, or whatever the emergency is, is still a lot better than her having to take her kid to the bus every single day.  And it wouldn't be so stressful for you knowing that if you go by her house and her kid isn't there waiting, you can just leave and not be late.

to this poster
[quote]It absolutely is a burden to spend an extra 10 minutes every morning helping out another family for several weeks. Tougher still if the OP doesn’t feel any gratitude or close relationship with the other family.[/quote]

OP is saying the extra 10 minutes isn't for the other family - she is doing it for her kids anyway.
[/quote]

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