Reply to Requests from a Sibing who is there for Elderly Parents

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[quote=Anonymous]It goes the other way, too.  My sister is the caregiver - by choice - and her moving to be closer to our ailing dad enabled him to stay in the small town where he lives, w/o decent healthcare options, instead of moving to the larger city where we all lived before she went there so that we could all share the burden.  My other sister and I were more than willing to do that. Now she expects me to drop my life - job, kids, etc - to rush down there at great expense all the time.  Sorry, but no.  Our dad always was and continues to be a shitty parent and I'm not bankrupting myself or rearranging my life b/c he refuses to make rational decisions.  She chose to go that route.  No one asked her.  But then again, she can't sit down and have a rational conversation to discuss the situation.  Like OP, she doesn't want that.  Just asking a fucking question is viewed as a sign of judgment.  You can't win.

During his most recent major health crisis, I asked her point blank what she needed.  She said "prayers."  Then she had the gall to bitch to my mother that "I don't have PTO and I can't pay my bills and blah blah blah and - WHERE WAS SHE?!?!"  Hell naw.  If you needed someone to come there and relieve you so that you could work you should have said something.  I would have been down there in a minute in that case.  But hey, it's easier to be an enabler and a martyr than it is to use your big girl words and ask clearly for what you need.[/quote]

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