Reply to 2017: Has marriage & 4-6 kids become the ultimate signal of real wealth?

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Reply to "2017: Has marriage & 4-6 kids become the ultimate signal of real wealth?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you have 4, you don't have to go back to work ever[/quote]

This is such a dumb argument. Wealthy SAHM's don't have to go back to work regardless of the number of kids they have. I stopped at 2. Still not going back to work. I know many who are the same. When 1 spouse makes $400k+, a second spouse making mid to upper five figures is [b]pretty inconsequential.[/b][/quote]

It's only inconsequential if your only measure is income. DH makes in the low seven figures, and I have a career that will probably top out in the low $100Ks. But, I think it's important for the kids to see their mom put her graduate degree to good use and to contribute to the HHI. IMHO, if you have the funds and the educational pedigree, then you have even less of an excuse to drop out of the economy. You can pick jobs that don't pay well and aren't terribly demanding of your time but are really meaningful to society, and you can afford nannies and babysitters should there be a scheduling conflict. Most of DH's male colleagues (who presumably make similar amounts of money) have a spouse who also works professionally. We are in our early 40s, and I don't see anyone at his firm with a SAH spouse in our generation.[/quote]

I guess we run in different circles. We hardly know anyone without a SAH spouse above a certain income.  For DH and his coworkers, it's pretty much assumed someone is at home picking up the slack and running the household. The only moms I know who work feel like they have to to maintain a certain lifestyle. Or they are teachers at our local school/preschool with the same exact hours as their kids. Making $50k. No thanks.[/quote]

Maybe we do run in different circles. My circle, I think, is a pretty typical Upper NW DC/Chevy Chase/Bethesda, private-school group. The moms work because they are extremely good at their careers and are very impressive in their own right. The ones who don't work often have some mitigating circumstance. In other words, for these moms, it's not a decision about money or affording a certain lifestyle. The dads, in general, are pretty involved, which helps a lot.[/quote]

NP. This is my experience too. I do know some SAHMs, of course, but all but one of them had a not very remunerative job and limited career ambition before kids. They were always focused more on an old fashioned model (dad works, mom raises the kids and runs the house) and less on career ambition. The women I know who were ambitious and chose professional careers in areas like law and finance for the most part are still working. Often one spouse takes a less demanding job, e.g. in a government agency, at least for a few years, and both share parenting responsibility. I do know one successful banker who quit when her second child reached school age, but she was nearing 40 and had 15-20 years of work and savings under her belt, and can therefore probably return at some point. And her husband is a successful PE guy. Nonetheless, we were all surprised when she made this choice.[/quote]

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