Reply to Bday Party Question? Invite just 3-4 out of 9 to sleepover (is it rude?)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For those of you who think it's ok to invite only a subset of party guests to sleep over, why invite the others to the party in the first place?? Why not just limit the party to ONLY the kids who are going to sleep over? Honestly, it seems like a blatant gift grab to invite 15 kids to a b-day party but then have a "secret" party afterward that only 2 or 3 "close" friends are invited to.  [/quote]

This![/quote]

New poster here. Nope, I don't agree.  I have 4 kids and we have done this numerous times.  Parties at venues are expensive. With venue, pizza, cake and favors we spend between $500 and $1000 for a 2-3 hour party.  Our kids are different ages so we invite between 10-25 kids depending on the venue to the actual party.  Then my kids invite between 2-5 kids for a sleepover (always their closest friends).  The sleepover costs us almost nothing (movie rental, popcorn, fast dinner).  So not a gift grab when the main event is when all are invited.  My children have been invited to sleepovers after parties and they have also not been invited.  My second youngest one was sad on one occasion (she was 10) because she really liked the birthday girl.  I just had a conversation with her about how in life you don't always get invited/get to participate in everything, and that it is ok.  She got over it really quick.  It's reality.  We need to prepare our kids for the world and how to deal with disappointment even if it makes us sad to see them sad. You don't always get what you want. [/quote]

I have a 9 and just turned 12-year old boy and this is INCREDIBLY common and [b]more the norm than not[/b].  This is a big group of boys--15-20+ who have known each since K.  They love getting together and often after the big party-- a few kids stay for the sleepover.  We've been on both ends of the equation (it's always been very discreet) and there haven't been hard feelings. There are many 'subsets' of friends in this group---1 or 2 besties, etc.  Maybe because we live close-in and people don't have these gigantic homes---but giant sleepovers aren't common in the boy set.

There is also the fact many of these boys play travel sports and the sleepovers have a cutoff sleep time of 10-10:30pm.[/quote]

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