Reply to Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the biggest measure of showing off wealth or hiding it is your house. We've always preferred to be millionaires in a middle class neighborhood. No one is showing off for anyone. And people are a lot nicer, in my experience. [/quote]

I feel like it is education. The 130k we will fairly easily spend on college and private school tuition this year is more than four times our mortgage and by far our largest expense. I feel like I live a pretty average existence as far as homes/cars etc., and can relate to my friends who are still in the midwest (where I grew up), until we start talking about college/schools. That is where I fall silent, and underplay wealth. They have no idea how much a private school tuition costs in the DC-area.
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I still can't tell from private school.  Friends of ours have kids in private school but it is paid for fully by the kids' paternal grandmother.  We have other friends who have kids in private and while they pay for it themselves, they drive very mediocre cars and take very mediocre vacations.  I know a third family (this is a family member of mine) who affords private BUT both the mother and father work AND they put nothing into their retirement other than into IRAs ($5500) each year.  While both appear to "afford" private, you can't say that this is some status symbol of either family's wealth.  I think the point is that:

1.  You can't tell if someone flaunts wealth that they are wealthy because the lifestyle could be financed by a bunch of debt.

2. You can't tell if someone flaunts poverty or appears to be very middle class if they "poor" or middle class because they could be millionaire next door types.  (We hear all the time about the janitor at this or that place who ends up leaving millions in his will to a hospital or library or college.)

3.  You can't tell from someone's clothing, cars, private school or public school choice for their kids, jewelry, vacations, or anything else whether the person has money.

I absolutely downplay my wealth for no reason other than that's who I am.  I am not flashy.  I am not into expensive cars or homes (though we own multiple homes and buildings).  I have no idea what people think when they see me, but I would guess I would appear solidly average and I have about close to $15 million between my spouse and myself.[/quote]

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