Reply to Please tell me you don't "thank" your spouse...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We both thank each other. If he doesn't thank you for doing stuff around the house but expects you to thank him, ask him why that is. [/quote]

This. If I walk into a clean kitchen, I am genuinely happy and thank DH. But he does the same. [/quote]

What if you walk into a trashed kitchen but his coffee cup is in the sink. Do you thank him for bringing his cup to the sink while he is sitting on the couch reading his phone and expecting you to clean the kitchen.

The OP's H is not cleaning the kitchen. He is putting his cup in the sink and wants to be thanked. [/quote]

Not the PP, but yes, I would thank him for putting a cup in the sink.  I would then ask him to help me clean the kitchen. If he refused, it would be a separate conversation.  You can both be upset about things he refuses do and grateful for the ones he does.  One does not preclude the other.

In my house, DH and I thank each other for all sorts of things that are "our jobs" and things that are objectively little - I will thank him for putting a cup in the sink and he will thank me for turning off the lights while going upstairs. It creates a nice atmosphere in the house and reminds us that we do appreciate each other in general - not just for big things but for little everyday things too.   [/quote]

That is not what OP said. Your H thanks you, her H does not. She did not say she never thanks him she just does not thank him for stupid stuff. [/quote]

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