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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the unknown factor here is what kind of kids you have. I keep thinking of a certain friends' kids. The kids are independent and I really think they would be fine with parents who were not often around, as long as their basic needs were met and they have transportation to activities. They are exceptionally independent and emotionally straightforward. I have one kid sort of like that, and one who's not. My one who is not couldn't cope with the separation: he needs us and no nanny will do it.[/quote]

Take heed. Is either kid a sensitive child that craves your time and attention?

[/quote]

I know a family that similarly to OP had two high power career parents. They had two kids who are now in their late 20s. Their caregivers were the couple next door who ran a home daycare / did afterschool care and then ended up doing all care when parents weren't home, including overnights at times. As they got older, they went on vacations with their caregivers and really became part of their family. The younger daughter always tried to get her parents to engage more. Even though they had this 'other' family, she craved and wanted attention and validation from her parents. She struggled with feeling loved and wanted and felt guilty that this other family had to raise them. She had a very hard time in her late teens and early twenties with her mental health and while she is doing fine now, she has mostly cut contact with her parents. The other daughter never really seemed to care to much, it didn't bother her and she just went about her life. But just like she didn't really need them too much then, she doesn't need them too much now either.

The parents are now older, one is semi retired and the other winding down their career. The oldest daughter has two young kids and the parents want to be grandparents but the daughter really doesn't have a need to have them actively in their lives. They now want to spend time with their kids / grandkids and neither daughter really wants to or has a desire to be closer to them. Both daughters are still in closer contact with the couple they spent the majority of their time with while growing up.

I think the parents truly thought they were working so hard and sacrificing family time because it would benefit them down the road, but now they are down the road and they have lots of money but very little relationship with either daughter. [/quote]

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