Reply to What do you do that makes you an *sshole?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When my husband is away on business, I always come up with "plans" whenever my MIL asks to see the kids, even if I desperately need a break, because she drives me nuts in a way that makes wild and crazy kids seem tame.[/quote]

Your MIL knows this and it hurts her feelings[/quote]
Oh well. Maybe she should work on herself too, then maybe she would t be so damn annoying. [/quote]

I love how its always the MIL in these situations. I mean they raised your partner but they are just HORRIBLE people amirite?[/quote]

I think people who say they feel this way have the MIL who is very (some more than others!!!) set in her ways, and unwilling to accept DIL, unless on MIL's terms.  I could see this not relaying an enormous welcome into the family. At some point, DIL in these situations know that they are damned if they do, and damned if they don't - so why not let DH take the heat.  After all, DH is accustomed to MILs ways, no matter how unkind and unwelcoming (okay nasty) MIL may be.  I can DIL not tolerating any abuse, why should she (she didn't do anything)? [/quote]

You could be right but for the vast majority of DILs on this forum who lament about their MIL they usually show their true colors sooner or later. They end up being at least part of the problem if not the entire problem. [/quote]
I promise, the problem is her, not me. (My husband concurs.)[/quote]

Of course your husband says that.  He has to live with you.
Be careful DIL, your kids are watching.  They see everything....that's why history repeats itself.[/quote]

This is my cousin! She was always hideous to her MIL, saying it was all the MIL's doing. Causing tension between MIL and her son, controlling how, when, why MIL could see/interact with her grandkids.Making tiny molehills into mountains. Her MIL was lovely and caring and a good grandma. Well now my cousin's son is getting married and wouldn't you know it her future DIL is just the WORST. And its all DILs doing and she is just causing terrible trouble between mother and son.

Gee, cousin, think it might be you?[/quote]

What about the DILs that are not mean, but are neutral, and the MIL still acts hateful? It doesn't matter who the DIL is or was, the DIL would be a target. Then, the DIL finds out that the MIL has always been that way - well before the DIL came into the picture.  Some MILs are just difficult people, and age only adds to it, because it is the perfect "excuse" for the MILs rotten behavior.

Yes, other PP, I completely agree that the next generation learns from the former generation.  That is precisely why I think so many DILs are brilliant to stay out of it completely, and let the DH deal with the MIL. [/quote]

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