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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, you wrote:

"My wife's job isn't something she loves, but she's good at it and is paid decently and part of the agreement for me to take my job and leave the feds (where we had excellent benefits)."

So you left a job with great benefits.....why?  And now your wife is shouldering all the responsibility for benefits while you insist she stays in a crappy job situation which she finds intolerable.  SMH.

You also owe it to your family to be looking for a job with better benefits.

[/quote]

Most likely he quit the job with the feds for a private sector position with a higher salary.  Makes sense if his wife has good benefits at her job.[/quote]

From the comments OP has made, it sounds like they made a decision as a couple that he would switch from a lower paying fed job to a higher paying private job with weaker benefits.  They made a decision that her job provided decent enough benefits for the family and provided them the extra cushion to afford the move.  With the higher salary, they could afford to move to a more expensive neighborhood, perhaps closer in, an since he mentions kids (plural) in daycare, probably higher daycare costs as well.  The equation to move to a more expensive home, pay higher daycare and still be able to fund retirement, college savings, emergency savings and extras (vacations, luxuries) was based on having both incomes.

The issue is that she made a unilateral decision without discussion to immediately quit, cutting off their health insurance, and eating into their savings at least in the short term.  There's no way he can change retirement and college savings which are all automatically deducted or transferred without at least a couple of weeks notice (retirement savings change on the 1st of every month and only if your company uses on-line updates.  If you have to use paper forms, then it can take 2 months to change).  He was upset that she made a unilateral decision without discussing.

In the followup discussion, he agreed that she needs to look for a new job and was very supportive of that, but he thought she should continue working, and have the healthcare and income coverage for the family, until she came up with an alternative.  Another point is that her old job tried to ask her not to resign.  If she can still go back, she can use this incident as a discussion point with her manager to discuss the issues that made her job so unbearable she would quit abruptly.  Perhaps some changes can be made to make the job more tolerable until she can find a better job and relieve some of the pressure to leave with no notice to either employer or family.[/quote]

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