Reply to Husband isn't good provider and I secretly hate him for it

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Reply to "Husband isn't good provider and I secretly hate him for it"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are a couple of problems here.

1. Women who want a C-Suite life should work to achieve it themselves. That is the only fool proof way of attaining that lifestyle. I understand that as a woman we are told we have the option to marry our way into an UMC/UC life. Its nice in theory but the logistics involved and pure statistics show that its sort of a gamble and not always reliable.

The surest way to secure an UMC/UC life is through marrying a guy who comes from a wealthy family. His family wealth works as a safety blanket regardless of how hard he works at his career. Its awesome if you can find a Big Law attorney who comes from family money for example. Its a win-win situation. That way if he career fails or if he burns out and takes a less stressful job, you still have trusts and estates to fall back on. This is complicated though because in order to meet these types of guys you have to  already BE in their circle. Go to posh private/prep schools, be a daughter of one of his parents best friends so you grow up together, go to same colleges etc. Its rare for these types to go out of their way to find a lower middle or middle class girl to marry. It just doesn't happen or is very rare. Your best bet is to wind up at someplace like Harvard, Yale or even UVA and break it into the right circles to meet and date them. Even if you do date and marry one, there's no guarantee that your marriage will necessarily be happy. What if you divorce? You may get awesome child support but there will still be a slight demotion in lifestyle and prestige once separated.

The second best thing is to date and marry guys who hold high earning positions but do not come from money. These guys are very motivated and work very very hard to get to the top. They make for great responsible husbands and fathers. Of course, the issue here is that sometimes life happens. The guy may get sick and die, or lose his job or wake up one day and realize he doesn't want to run the rat race. Not coming from wealth brings with it a host of stressors that can be hard for even a high earning sole provider of a family.  If you marry him hoping for a relaxed SAHM lifestyle, if something happens to him or he gives up his career. You're one of the women complaining about husbands salary on DCUM.

The BEST strategy imo, is to work hard, go to the best schools and universities and plan for that high paying job YOURSELF. That way you're already set for life, yourself with the exact lifestyle you want on YORU TERMS. If you happen to marry a rich guy, all the better! Case in point, look at Amal Clooney. Glamorous international lawyer who already had a fabulous life. Its how she met Clooney and now lives a fairytale.

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Or...you can end up like a lot of my friends from our (top rated) grad school.  In their 30s, no husband, eggs rapidly expiring, and up to their eyeballs in debt.[/quote]

Why didn't they find anyone to date in grad school?[/quote]

They probably assumed that their options would be better once they had successful careers. That's how it works for men, but it's not the same for women. [/quote]

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