Reply to just realized my DH is probably asexual: so sad and angry. It is hopeless right?

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Reply to "just realized my DH is probably asexual: so sad and angry. It is hopeless right?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

NP here, this is very real. I have been living it. My husband and I had sex regularly, though not incredibly frequently (once a week, sometimes more, sometimes less). At times he would turn me down or engage begrudgingly when I initiated. I found out that he had an entire secret fantasy life involving sexual roleplay and porn that he would engage in late at night after I went to bed. I figured he was working late or watching TV to unwind. I knew he had to be rubbing one out and watching porn from time to time, but I didn't realize the scope of the issue. We're talking about HOURS AND HOURS, and worse, choosing cybersex when I was ready and willing to have more real life sex. Anyway, we're in a better place now, but it was really a trip when that one came to light![/quote]

I can definitely see going down the rabbit hole if there is a kink or kinks that you are afraid to share with your significant other. I've got some filthy things I'd enjoy but I'm not really comfortable telling my DW about it. Our sex life is pretty stale and intermittent. Based on some erotica choices of hers that I've stumbled across from time to time, I think she has some non-traditional preferences that might get her revved up. But I've been unable to draw her out. Once I suggested that we take the "mojoupgrade.com" test, but she cried at the suggestion because she regarded it as pressure to have more sex. (MojoUpgrade has both partners take a quiz, then only reveals kinks that both sides have expressed an interest in.) [/quote]

Sounds like she has issues, man.  I guess you probably know this.  [b]I would say though that perhaps if you share the things that you are embarrassed to share, she will be more likely to open up about her own things. [/b] [/quote]

NP here.  Re: the bolded text: when I opened up to my DW about my kinks she got upset with me for having them and became even more tight lipped about her own stuff.  In the scheme of things, my kinks are fairly tame.  So, it's definitely a risk.  She will throw it in my face whenever we have fights about sex.   [/quote]

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