Reply to Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not a Clancy “Stan”, but I do feel sympathy toward her.

Its not because I secretly also want to kill my kids.

It might be due to unconscious bias, as I am also white and a professional. And if so, that’s something I need to acknowledge and actively work against in the future.

But what I think what it is, is that for us sympathizers, we love our kids so much and cannot in a million years imagine killing them, so we assume that Clancy - perhaps because she looks like us? Has a similar lifestyle to us? - must have had something so crazy wrong with her brain for a brief moment because surely she wouldn’t do this on purpose.

Just my two cents. I appreciate everyone’s differing perspectives. Three innocent lives lost, let’s hope some new knowledge / understanding about mental health and social media and unconscious bias comes out of this mess. [/quote]

This is my perspective too. Any mother who has been through pregnancy, childbirth, nursing, sleep deprivation, hormonal and chemical fluctuations, and watching the monitor all night to make sure your baby is breathing - all while raising other toddlers- knows how it can alter your mental state. I can’t imagine the pain and scariness of having an actual PPD or PPP diagnosis on top of it. Maybe it’s unconscious bias, but we know how little support is available for parents having difficulty going through this phase of life.  Like PP said, doing what she did is unimaginable for the vast majority of parents- most of us have to believe that someone with no prior record would have to have been driven insane.[/quote]

I think we need to reject conventional practices of having babies less than 2 years apart and having more than 2 of them like it’s easy. Yes people do it, and most people survive it without something terrible happening.

BUT. In this day and age, having 3+ kids less than 2 years apart is just asking for misery. Why? Just why? I had two kids 3 years apart. Both were good sleepers and neurotypical and it was still really hard! DH and I didn’t have any trouble deciding to stop at 2 even though before we had any kids we discussed three. As non parents you have no clue.

Again, not saying people can’t have more than two kids. But can we please get rid of this idea that it’s so easy that everyone should do it and in quick succession too, which is how it feels right now.[/quote]

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