Reply to Are you paying or contributing to your kids weddings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If a couple can’t afford to pay for their own wedding, they aren’t ready to get married.

Yes, that may mean downsizing the event, but maybe it will help the couple focus on tbings that are actually important.

A gift check from parents is nice, but only if it is truly a gift and not a way to weasel into planning the wedding. [/quote]

Except some kids would prefer to just elope, yet their parents want to be there. My aunt and uncle refused to give their son (gave their daughter 50k the year before) any money for his wedding and he eloped instead. They were devastated. Actions have consequences. A lot of parents have massive demands. You can't demand anything when it's not your own wedding.[/quote]

Except some places like Long Island and New Jersey people write the check at the reception, I would give [b]$1,000[/b] at a fancy wedding the one where there are food trucks and tap beer I might give [b]tops $200 bucks[/b]. So cheap weddings can cost more. The trick is not to go over the top, but not so cheap people give you $100 buck gifts. [/quote]

Wow. How well do you know these people? $100 seems like a pretty good gift, depending on how close you are to them. [/quote]

$100? Are you on crack? Also closeness does not matter that much. I went to an old neighbors daughters wedding of a women we have not seen in 8 years. Just me, wife and younger daughter. I gave $800 and thought cheap as nice weddings are at least $250 a person. A few weeks early went to my nephews really fancy  wedding the three of us gave $1,000 and that wedding must have been $350 a person so I was actually cheap.

Even a DJ, tent, open bar, decorations, catered food in backyard is above $100 a person

I hardly call covering my plate overly generous.

Generous was in 1998 at my wedding which was $150 a person I got a few $500 to $1,000 per couple gifts. Most gave $200 a couple which was nice but not overly generous and one or two gave $75 which was FU money even in 1998. 
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Covering your plate is a low class Long Island gypsy mentality.

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I’ve never thought paying for the wedding to be the job of the guests. That’s a very novel concept to me. How much someone chooses to spend on their wedding is on them. [/quote]

So if I go out to a steak house with you and bill is $500 for two of us I guess I can pay $50 as I don’t have to cover the plate.

My cheapest guest was my cheap ass one uncle who gave $75 at my wedding for two people on 1998. Cost me close to $300 for two of them, my wife was spitting fire writing thank you note.

He died last year and my wife goes heard your cheap uncle died. Like 9/11 wonen never forget who gave cheapest gift [/quote]

A wedding is a celebration, not a financial transaction.  [/quote]

aren't you naive. My one GF I almost married in 1991 was into Big Italian over the top weddings. Her Dad was going to pay whole thing. We would of had around 400 people and Dad would have spent maybe $80,000 in 1991. I went to two of her cousins weddings and I know they cleared around $120,000 to $200,00. They also had engagement parties in catering halls with around 200-250 people. Mostly gifts but many another $20,000.

Her family was really generous. I know her Dad gave $5,000 at all the weddings of his nieces and nephews. So all her Uncles and Aunts would be giving $5,000.

We were going to use the money for our house. I was making 39K and she was making a bit more 40K back then not like we could do it on our own.

Thats 1991 money. I know today in 2026 an average nice wedding for a blue collar family on Long Island can run $80,000 all in. I am sure my 1991 wedding I never has would be $250,000 today. I went to a blue collar wedding on Long Island a few weeks ago and my wife and I gave $1,000 and it was just an old neighbor. Nice girl and she was paying most herself and she was just a 25 year old pre school teacher. I know every wedding gets a few dead beats I dont want to be one of them. Expect a 25 year old girl with a blue collar Dad to buy your a a $300 dinner and you write a check for $100   [/quote]

You and your family are tacky.[/quote]

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