Reply to Are those of you with very arrogant, condescending kids aware of it? Does it bother you?

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Reply to "Are those of you with very arrogant, condescending kids aware of it? Does it bother you?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is very context dependent. It sounds like OP, from the follow-up posts, is talking about status-obsessed kids, who really are probably getting it from their parents. Other people are talking about kids who are bossy/correct others/kind of rude. These are two different things to me, but they both stem from insecurity.

I will say that I grew up in a lower income community and kids there 30 years ago were far more obsessed with brands/class indicators than what I've noticed among my kids' peers and today in general. The greatest obsession at age 12 was having a top that screamed ABERCROMBIE, kids made fun of others for shopping at "low end" stores, or for parents having "low end" jobs, etc. It was awful. I have not seen that among my kid's peers, and they go to public school (but in a fairly well-off area). I would be mortified if my kids said or heard some of the things that were casually tossed around when I was growing up that just made fun of other kids for being "poor." I'm sure it still happens but maybe my kids' peers are more secure or something because I would be really surprised if I heard something like that. On the other hand, there are definitely the know-it-all types but those kids just seem awkward and insecure too me-- no one seems malicious. [/quote]

To me, the status obsessed kids and the bossy/rude kids are just variations on a theme. It's a child who thinks they are better than other people for shallow, incorrect reasons. All these kids should be getting the message regularly from their families that no, having a certain brand of clothes does no make you a better person. No, traveling internationally does not make you a better person. No, going to a certain school does not make you a better person. Even being very good at academics or sports does not make you a better person.

A person should be measured by their actions. That's it. The rest is a result of resources, which for kids means parental resources, and to some extent genetics. Thinking that's what divides good people from bad is a really toxic, dangerous belief system. All parents should be discouraging it. Wealthy parents should especially discourage it because a wealthy kid who thinks they are superior to others just because they were born wealthy is as much a pox on his own family as he is on the society at large. It's not a way to encourage independence, hard work, or discipline.[/quote]

There are many ways to be mean and a jerk. You can be status conscious. You can  be beauty or sports conscious. You can have bad manners in many ways.

I would like to think I raised good humans. I stress good manners. [/quote]

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