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[quote=Anonymous]🎶 “Big Sis at MeCamp”

(Subtitle: “Fake Love & Flannel Lies”)

[Verse 1]
Well Jen once had a book on the bestseller chart,
Wrote memoirs ’bout healing and breaking apart.
Had lunch with Reese and cried on The View,
Now she’s sellin’ face mist and trauma tattoos.

Got dumped by her husband, blamed Mercury in retro,
Now she’s filterin’ grief through a Target halo.
“Authentic,” she says, with a voice like glass,
While taggin’ brands mid-cry in a ring-lit bath.

[Chorus]
She’s Big Sis at MeCamp, stompin’ like a beast,
Scarin’ coastal locals from the food co-op feast.
Screamin’ “Where the gays at?” on a foggy bay,
But the gays said, “Nah girl,” and shuffled away.
Her man’s Big Sass, cryin’ in his scarf,
Mournin’ Betty White like she was Joan of Arc.
It’s a lavender mess, it’s confusing at best,
But they hashtag it “Love” like it passes the test.

[Verse 2]
Tyler’s all show tunes and tears on demand,
Still writes tributes to Bea Arthur by hand.
Closeted but “vibrant,” with jazz hands of grief,
He sobs to Designing Women like it’s gospel belief.

Their publicist Martha had a bold little pitch:
“Why not fake-date for the algorithm switch?”
Now Jen calls him “Babe” on a glitchy live,
While he recites eulogies to Murphy Brown’s vibe.

[Chorus]
Yeah it’s Big Sis at MeCamp, lookin’ unhinged,
Yellin’ “gay ally” while the rainbow fringe cringed.
She’s stompin’ through tide pools in rhinestone jeans,
Handin’ out moon water to confused teens.
Tyler’s back home with a candle and lace,
Still whisperin’ “Queen” to Betty’s face.
They ain’t in love, but the optics are rich,
Their couple name trends right before it glitches.

[Bridge – Spoken Word Over Banjo Pluckin’]
“Hi guys, it’s Jen, day 14 of my MeCamp cleanse…
I met a tree who reminded me of my ex…
Anyway—use code ‘HEALING20’ for discounts on healing.”

Meanwhile Tyler’s in a bubble bath like,
“In loving memory of Estelle Getty…”

[Breakdown – Slow & Dramatic]
She’s manifestin’ love in a small-town thrift,
He’s cryin’ at reruns, wrapped in a cashmere gift.
They tried to fool the world with lavender light,
But one’s chasin’ clout, the other mourns Golden Girls at night.

[Final Chorus]
So here’s to Big Sis, stompin’ like a mule,
Turnin’ every hot tub into a content pool.
And Big Sass, sobbin’ over Blanche Devereaux,
Callin’ it a soft launch, but we all know.
They ain’t foolin’ the gays, they ain’t foolin’ the town,
But they sure do look cute breakin’ all the way down.

[Outro – Gentle Guitar Fade]
If you see a ring light near a vegan café,
It’s just Big Sis tryna flirt the gay away.
And if you hear sobs from a mid-century chair,
That’s Big Sass, sayin’ “Rest, queen,” into the air.

🎶 It’s fake love, filtered bright…
🎶 But damn if it don’t stream just right. 🎤💔📱[/quote]

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