Reply to Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?

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Reply to "Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I get it, because it’s true, even if people don’t want to admit that’s what’s happening when children are in full-time daycare.  But in polite society we avoid saying things that might hurt someone’s feelings, regardless of whether it’s truthful or not.  [/quote]

But it’s not truthful. My kids went to daycare, and, sure, their daycare teachers, who were all wonderful, provided care during the workday. But my spouse and I made the decisions on how to parent, which included finding great caregivers.[/quote]

If your children go to daycare for 10-11 (7-6 or 7:30-5:30) hours a day for the first 4-5 years of life and sleep 10-12 hours a night then you are not spending 4-5 hours with them each day 70% of the week. How is this controversial? You are outsourcing a lot of parenting duties to other caregivers. Someone saying that they don’t want to do that is not wrong. And I’m saying this as a full time working parent. [/quote]

I actually did the math with my neighbor who was a SAHM and I did spend more 1-1 time with my kids than she did.

1st. My H's time counted and I know many of SAHP's who are the 1st to tell you that their H does nothing, works late, travels a lot. 
2nd: She did not take into account napping, time in front of TV, time they were in the basement playing and she was futzing around.

I don't think a SAHP should be connected at the hip and I think that independent time is valuable but the reality is she was not spending more 1-1 time with her child than I was. [/quote]

You have a warped view of spending time with kids. I think it is odd that you don't think it "counts" to be the adult in the house that your kid will come to, that your kid is aware of as the person there for them in the moment, to be the person who is planning ahead for what comes next in the day. Just because your kid is building legos in the next room and you are not actively building with them does not mean you are not with the child as their safe and present primary care giver. [/quote]

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