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[quote=Anonymous]Re: the race angle

The issue for me is that Dawn really never did anything to Sonya. By all accounts, Dawn liked and admired and was respectful toward Sonya and the other POC in her writing community. But it was not mutual and Sonya did not like or admire or respect Dawn. But instead of just steering clear of her or staying neutral but not overly friendly towards her, Sonya was incredibly solicitous of Dawn's friendship. And I know sometimes POC feel obligated to be friendly to white people because of power dynamics, but they really were not at play here. Dawn was not a powerful or influential person in this world at all. Sonya wasn't trying to take classes with Dawn, Dawn was not an editor or publisher nor did she run events or serve as a gatekeeper for anything Sony might have wanted or needed access to. The opposite, actually! Sonya was much better connected and in actual positions of authority (like running the Muse conference and other leadership roles at Grubstreet). So Sonya had zero reason to feel like she had to befriend Dawn. I think she's just two-faced and insincere, and that this appears to be a really common personality problem in this community based on other people's behavior.

Dawn's "sin" that is getting her accused of racism is being hurt/confused when Sonya's mask dropped and Dawn saw that they were not actually friends. That's not "white womens tears." That's a normal response to noticing that someone who has always been really pleasant to your face, called you a friend, socialized with you in many settings, etc., is suddenly acting like they hate you. It's not racism.

Sonya brought all this on herself and is trying to use the general mist of racism to cover it up. But no -- even POC sometimes just have crap personalities and do weird, hurtful, or unethical things. It's okay to get mad at a POC for being a crap friend, for instance, or to call them out for treating you like crap. Really! That's fine. Walking on eggshells and acting like someone can't just be a typical human pile of excrement because they have experienced racism is silly. POC are just people and they can be as petty, mean, small, and limited as anyone else. They can't get together and conduct institutional racism, but that's not what we're talking about here.[/quote]

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