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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will say that if you tell your 12+ kid some of the (possibly toned-down) reasons behind the divorce (i.e. "he had an affair" instead of "he had an affair, gave me VD, and I caught him having a threesome while snorting coke off a stripper's ass") it won't be a terrible thing.
 [/quote]

I tend to agree. Each kid is different, but most teens and pre-teens aren't going to be satisfied with "Mom and Dad just don't love each other anymore."

Mine weren't. The younger of the two, in high school, said several times he thought the split was his fault. He didn't say, but might also have been thinking, that even if we didn't love each other we should have loved him enough not to totally screw up his life. So to the extent you can point out that both of you are flawed, so it's the parents' faults (while leaving out the lack of sex for years/threesome with the coke), this might actually alleviate some of the anxiety and guilt a pre-teen or teen might feel. At least my teen. I also sent DS for therapy. [/quote]

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