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[quote=Anonymous]I am upset by these posts.  A few moms shared how hurtful it was that some moms at local independent schools help get some but not all fellow students invited to finishing-school type organizations that are, in some way elitist/exclusionary.  I think those types of organizations hurt our schools and our students.  Exclusion is wrong.  And it is completely silly, because there’s always someone who feels more elite than you and will exclude you.  He’s a statement from page 58 of the 2002 official history of a Boston club I know a bit about, a statement that this forum discussion called to mind:

“It may come as a surprise that a graduate of Yale would, as Club President, usher in our modern period.  Since our founding in 1851, every President but __, __ and __, had been a graduate of Harvard, and most of them either A.D., Fly or Porcellian.  Not that ___ was unique in that respect.”

This refers to things that were happening in 1986.  Is it acceptable to say, I like Yale people, some of my best friends are Yale people, but they don’t run my club?  I think this particular statement in the book was a frank recognition that for a long time everyone had been expected to go to one college, join one of three school clubs there, and then join the social club that the people with our DNA and background always joined.  Such a tiny world.  I just think the world’s a bigger place than that.  And that our elementary schools benefit when different kinds of people feel totally comfortable at them.  A few people on this forum,  who write to defend most students going to elitist/exclusionary dance/social training, may want to rethink that.  I know you don’t intend to hurt others.  But you do when you involve students in activities that others are not invited to join or where they may not feel welcome.  Part of being good parents is doing the right thing.  Keeping students out of elitist/exclusionary organizations that overlap a large part of the student body of their school, not hurting fellow members of communities, etc., is the right thing to do.  One post said these types of places are things of the past.  Most of us would probably agree.  It would be better if all of us left them behind.  As someone said, if you want to take dance classes, try the YWCA, or any other group that offers open admission and does not send out invitations.[/quote]

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