Reply to Well I think its safe to say my DIL hates us

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Well I think its safe to say my DIL hates us"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I don't know, but it could be that everyone here has the idea that ILs threatened their son, demanded that he do this next step. I'm not really getting a clear picture  here, but MIL seems to at least be admitting that they played a role, but not in a really overwhelming sense like coercion.  So...here's my 2 cents  FWIW:

They aren't wrong that a law degree would make a difference
He did get in, and is capable it seems
They married young and had kids young, and it seems to coincide with this clusterf*&^ of law school, lack of funds, time, etc.

One can also say that they both decided to have another baby during this all, and could have waited. If baby was an OOPs, then it complicated the overall plan, frankly- but really they both were on board when he started. Yeah, things are shitty right now. They have little time together, money is tight, two kids are her responsibility largely and she isn't getting a break or the accolades of a law degree afterward.  Sure they are fighting . We all would be.

She was honest about the situation to her ILs. They did not cause it, but it's too convenient to blame them. They  really sold him on the idea with good intentions, and probably were not wrong about the future career benefits, but he  decided it was also Ok  to do...he isn't doing this to appease his parents...he took their advice.  Please.

Yeah, law school is hard, it's expensive, you have no life for a awhile. Maybe they all  need to stop  and take stock of how they can help each other in these next months. How can everyone manage- what can parents do, how can wife get a break, how can son finish with the least amount of hardship, etc.  Wife needs some attention,and yes, this will be beneficial for this young family when  it is done. I remember that when I was in grad school,  2 degrees, it seemed to be the worst just at the 3/4 mark. Other people will agree- there's a lot of  folks who quit at this stage...it's a psychological thing. Plow through,people, plow through.

MIL- say this:

We love you both
We did not force you, we really hoped he would choose this as we know what this career looks like later with a law degree
We know it's hard, we love the new baby- let's not confuse  all  the  things that came together and decide why it's hard. It's just all hard now. It won't be hard later. We will help.

We will:

baby sit
provide extra income
let wife get away for a bit on a trip- we will watch the  kids
help with meals
support son with what he needs

I think this young couple is lucky, actually. Wife is understandably stressed right now, husband is also. Let's not get lost here. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics