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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just as the title suggests.  Don't feel a connection.  It has to do with lack of sex.  Haven't had it and when it happens it's boring.  She complains she's tired, wants the TV on or something else takes precedence.  I understand the tired.  So am I, I work, help with kid, maintain house.  I don't watch TV, and only do when my advances are rejected and I don't want to lay there in bed wondering why my wife won't sleep with me.  But it's bleeding into other things.

For example, we used to watch a couple of shows together.  I don't do that any more.  Just not interested in sitting there watching a stupid show I don't like.  I used to not mind but now it's super irritating.  I just don't care to hear about her day.  I mean if she's having a bad day, sure I'll listen but I just don't have any empathy.  Like I just listen and then move on with my day.  I find myself doing a lot more on my own now.  For example I'll take on extra duties to get out of the house (outside work, errands), spend more time at the gym, takenthe kid out with me alone.  It getting to the point where when I start thinking about my future plans - I subconsciously do not include her into my long term strategy.  I do for my kid, but at this point her opinion means very little.

I hate feeling this way as I love my wife, but just can't help but feel I made a mistake.  I miss the passion and fun and there isn't any.  I think about divorce options a lot more than I used to.  Which is scary to me.  I have started noticing other women a LOT more.  There are a lot of attractive ones for sure.  What is scary is I find it easy to engage with these women and have no issue talking to pretty women.  I feel confident and comfortable in these scenarios and have plenty of attractive female colleagues and friends.  For example, we went to a friend's function recently and another woman was there who is somewhat a newlywed.  About a year or so.  She was attractive so I flirted with her and she was very receptive.  I enjoyed it to be honest, the positive feedback and light flirting, the jokes her hand contact.  Her husband was there but getting wasted with friends and s little bit of a joke.  She didn't interact with him like I would have with my wife early in our marriage.  The body language was telling.  My wife was there too but I wasn't interested in what she was doing.  She was with her friends and I was alone and didn't really know that many people.

Regardless, I felt a little guilty because I hate feeling like this.  Perhaps councilling?[/quote]

I have not read all 9 pages of responses...what I can say is from what I read I know you said she changed, you have not - and yet you admit to having watched tv with her and now you don't, you used to listen with empathy, now you don't, doing things to get out of the house, etc.  You have BOTH changed.  That is part of LIFE.  If you were both the same people you were when you got married you'd be in an even worse mess probably ;-)  Being married and having a marriage is a CHOICE.  You say you love her and you miss the passion and the fun you used to have -- MAKE THINGS FUN.  When my husband and I were going through a tough time I made sure that I found something for us to laugh at together each and every day - and it helped us.  Find something the 2 of you CAN do together that is fun - it might be something totally new for both of you.  Whatever you do, make the CHOICE to be with her.  Counseling will definitely help if you find the right person.   Please try to find that right person![/quote]

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