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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thank you to those who wrote more compassionate responses, I appreciate that.  I think it was being faced with the end of my fertility that has spurred my recent mid-life crisis.  I was able to have our first child very easily, then struggled with secondary infertility for over 3 years and then ended up having uterine issues that resulted in a hysterectomy.  I am having a lot of difficulty coming to terms with my whole fertility journey (getting pregnant easily with first child then not being able to get pregnant ever again and then the hysterectomy).  I saw a therapist for a year but it didn't help with my fertility issues.  Now that my child will be in Kindergarten next year full-day (currently she is in half day preschool) has made me feel the need to figure out something career-wise for myself.

We are considering adoption, and have made some initial inquiries into finding a home study agency and working with an adoption lawyer, but I am hesitant on a number of levels about starting the adoption process.

And I do not feel that I wasted the last 20 years, that is just insulting on so many levels.  I got two advanced degrees, I learned a lot of new skills from my various jobs, I own a home, I manage our household and do all the domestic duties, I've traveled, I've worked hard to build a community for our family (we are not from this area and don't have any family here so I have worked really hard to build a wonderful community/village of friends for us), I volunteer every year at my child's school on the PTA, and I have held a job for the last two years (yes, it's very part-time but still it's something and I will get an excellent reference from this job).  I would have loved to have had a real career but for various reasons (my ADHD and being very directionless career wise) it didn't end up happening.  That doesn't mean I don't want to start a career now, I very much want to have a career.  But I have to balance that with the realities of my husband's career and how stressful his career and being gone all the time already is for our family.  Part-time makes the most sense for me, and I think I can get back to something education-related, though I'm still unsure of what that might be at this time.  I guess it may end up being a job instead of a career, but I think that will be okay.  But it's a huge regret of mine that I never had a career, and it bothers me every single day.  Seeing a career counselor is probably a good idea.

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