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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I've read the entire thread.  Re the PP, [b]there are online communities of people who have had problems with circumcised penises, too.  Neither option will guarantee your son a life of no penis issues.  [/b]

Just to reflect back at you what I've heard from you, it's really clear that you don't want to do this and your DH doesn't give a hoot.

It's also clear that you're a thoughtful curious person trying to live an ethical and meaningfully communal life.

I would:

(1) Not circumcise

(2) Join the most liberal Jewish community you can find.  I know you say there's no reason to do this because your DH is secular.  No biggie.  There are super secular communities of Jews out there -- from the liberalist of Reform synagogues to just basically meet-up groups.  It doesn't matter if it's not an Israeli thing.  You sound like you will be spending some time in the US, so do it for the benefit of your time here.  If you go to Israel and it makes no sense there, so what.  American Jews go to Israel all the time and deal with a bit of culture clash.  [b]I think your son will find community among the liberalist of Jews here who are open and questioning tradition like you are.  You could also join a Unitarian congregation and get the same type of thing.  It just really seems like imparting some sort of communal identity on your son would be important to you.  It would also give you a forum (of real people, invested in your development, rather than online ones who really don't care) to keep working through your values.  Developing our values is what we do as humans.[/b]

Good luck.[/quote]

Thanks, I appreciate this.  I've had the same thought about communities against circumcision, as we've spent quite a lot of time out in the Bay Area and I think they regard it as child mutilation.

Anyway... at one point, we were -- well, I was -- very much searching for the kind of community you're talking about, and we looked into the local Unitarians & Quakers, Buddhist communities, even very progressive Catholic churches and synagogues.  Our oldest is only 3 now and has a great international school community so that has been enough. But I think you're right that as the kids grow older this is something that will be important.  As a secular Israeli, I think my husband's set foot in temple a few times as a child and most of his Jewish-ness comes through the holidays and family gatherings. So I worry that it will feel forced, artificial, and too American for him (in the sense of endlessly self-conscious and reflective) to make it a point to find something like this.  Maybe as it gets more age-appropriate for the kids we will do it as a way to discuss these things with them. Thanks again.

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