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[quote=Anonymous]

OP - You and DH have a real communication problem if you can't share what you found out due to danger to your son, your other kids who might ride with him, to his friends and other people.  It sounds like  it is good old Dad who wants to be the "Big Guy" in his teen's life and probably will soon, if not already, be looking the other way on the drinking and even supplying the party booze to keep junior in his good graces.

Again, he is a minor living in your home and you and DH need to take the phone and let him know clearly you will have access to whatever whenever you choose.  On the driving, I would say the car needs to be taken away and sold for another sensible car for a teen like a big old car or a used Volvo because a jeep make little sense for a new driver.  Both of you seem like the typical upper crust family who once a teen is sixteen and driving - just make the comfortable assumption that they are now an adult and no need to be parented - just at the point when it is yes most difficult at times, but most needed to help them transition to responsible adult.  Sad for three kids you two can't be  the parents.[/quote]

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