Reply to Men: Would you date a woman who did not have a "real job"?

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Reply to "Men: Would you date a woman who did not have a "real job"?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The thing is that you are trying to distill this to a single question, and it's a lot more nuanced than that. Jobs are an outgrowth of education, which is an outgrowth of background and family expectations. This thread shows that people conflate background with ambition, and it is my experience that men may not care about the level of ambition (and in fact, may prefer a lower level of ambition), but they do care about shared background and education in the mother of their children.  Yes, I'm a woman, but I also have a husband, who is very open that my education and intellect were a key reason why he married me - because he wanted his children raised by someone with these qualities. Background sets expectations of how things ought to be done, and shared expectations of important things are a huge success factor for marriages.  And while we'll never know why the PP's husband thinks their marriage works, I'm sure he wouldn't swap her for someone who is just as nice an affectionate but didn't go to college at all. [/quote]

See, I think at the end, its you who is conflating two issues. I am sure your husband did think your intellect was attractive and he valued it. I think you're drawing from that fact that he specifically cared about whether you went to college and you two had a shared background and family expectations. Its the latter point that strikes me as much more of a female perspective than a male perspective, and I think you might be mapping on to your husband. If your husband had met you at a bar while you were working as a waitress, but on your first date you came across as sufficiently intellectual to hold an enjoyable conversation with you, I am skeptical he would have broken it off if it turned out you had a different educational background from him or were not seeking a professional job.[/quote]

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