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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe these women simply want a less stressed life and more time with their children? What's wrong with that? There's an op Ed in the NYT about this today called How to Fix feminism. And it starts with women like all of us in this thread, whether we work for pay or not, refusing to devalue the work that caregivers do. If you're in here bashing SAHMs, then you're part of the problem and should be booted out of the feminist movement. You don't support other women despite what lies you might tell yourself.

Signed, working mom[/quote]

There has been very little bashing SAHs here, all people have been saying is that there is little time actually gained with kids by staying home once they are in school all day.  Not working because you don't like your job, or because you want a less stressful life are entirely different reasons to sah.[/quote]

I think it can really depend on your schedule.  I work and drop my 5 year old off at SACC (right next door to our house) at 7:15am and with increased traffic, I am not getting her until 6 or 6:15pm.  That's 11 hours for a young kid, when she lives next door to school and I live 12 miles from work.  If I am at home, I drop her off at 8:40am and pick her up at 3:30pm.  When they are young elementary, and you need to commute and get a full 8+ hour day of work in (mandated lunch added to that), then it can be a significant difference if you are at home.  I love my telework days for this very reason - her day at school is much shorter, and I have an extra two hours with her that I cherish.  But I can only do this one day a week.

There is no universal truth to be found in any of this - for some SAH made sense with babies, but that doesn't invalidate those who can't do it until later, or choose to do it later.  For some, they reach financial independence when their kids are still early elementary, so some women who have been working continuously and never considered taking time off, start to explore it after wondering if maybe they already have enough $$$, and perhaps they can make different choices than they thought possible heretofore.  Some feel that their combo of flexibility and high income is a great balance, and keep on that track.  Different rationales involved in all of these decisions.  For those who keep working (which I have up until now), there are excellent reasons to stay in the game, but it should not fully define one's identity as some allow it to.  Ultimately, we all live with our own choices so we better make sure we are making them for us, our kids and our spouses, not solely based on our income, status, and the perception of others.  In the end, our relationships matter most, and if you can find a way to have a good amount of family time as well as financially succeed whether working or taking time off, then you do what combination works for your family.  [/quote]

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