Reply to Bf doesn't want to get me a nice rock

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My BF has told me that he can't afford to get me a nice rock even though we have been dating for 4 years and have been talking marriage for 3. I just feel hurt because he could've saved about 7k easily by now but he didn't and now he wants to get me a whatever Rock just because. [/quote]

Let him buy whatever he wants for you. I assume he isn't splurging for expensive new cars or toys for himself, right?

[b]Frankly the engagement ring is a reflection of the fiance/husband, and your commitment of course. So he's only embarrassing himself if he's selectively being a cheapskate or has some issue with diamonds. 
[/b]
If you want diamond earrings or another diamond ring on your right hand, you can buy that!

Separately, dating for 4 years and speaking about marriage for 3 years sounds AWFUL. Are you sure he's not just throwing out lame excuses and statements in efforts to get you to dump him? Is he passive aggressive like that?  Then he can turn around and say XYZ dumped me for something trivial like a small engagement ring, or not wanting to wait 6 more months, or not liking my financial position, or not liking how I leave stale pizza everywhere (even tho it's something you have talked and talked about.) [/quote]

Really?  I actually have observed the opposite.  Some men can easily throw money around.  And if they find a woman who is easily appeased/pleased by things, they see that as an easy way to be able to do whatever they want so long as they can afford to buy expensive things.

And that's fine.  That arrangement works for some couples.  But expensive gifts (and that's exactly what a rock is) isn't a sign of commitment or dedication or love.  It's just an expensive gift.

Dating for 4 years and talking about marriage for 3 isn't a bad thing.  It's prudent.  Perhaps OP's BF has noticed that she might be a little shallow or materialistic, and he wanted to wait to really see if she wants to be with him or if she's just looking for a husband in general (and apparently one who will spend a lot of money on her).

Did OP communicate 3 years ago to BF that a nice engagement ring is important to her?  Did she plan on contributing?  How about things her BF wants?  Has she saved for anything specifically for him?  I mean, I'm sure she'll say she's saved for a wedding, but that is something she was saving for herself if BF doesn't care about big weddings.

Marriage is so much more than a ring.  Have OP and BF talked about shared goals -- financial and otherwise?  Because it sounds like they haven't.  And honestly, that's important to work out before getting married.

I don't understand why people approach marriage the way they do.  I don't understand why women get upset about rings.  It's just foolish.

[/quote]

[b]Due needs to look around his office, look around the restaurant, look around the meeting at all the women's engagement rings and get a clue. [/b]
Has he made a statement that he doesn't like jewelery, or flashy things, or western culture?  Not to my knowledge.  In fact, he may be being hurtful on purpose!  He needs to explain himself to OP, if he truly wants to get engaged to OP. [/quote]

Worst statement yet. So he has to look around at other people and fall in line?? What the hell does some woman across the restaurant have to do with OP or her boyfriend? Do you just keep up with the Jones's in all walks of life, or is this limited to engagement rings?[/quote]

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