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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did you save any of his texts? You could take a screen shot and send to the wife. 
You'd be surprised how much that happens.[/quote]

I saved everything, but I have no desire to contact her out of the blue. Should she ever contact me for the truth or what I have to say I would happily share them with her. I was always surprised she never contacted me to ask me questions or question what her husband told her. It's alarming how a cheater gets caught and the wife just assumes what he has to say his 100% truth. [/quote]

My husband cheated on me with his coworker.  I know who she is and could contact her if I wanted.  But I am not going to do that.  Not because I believe my husband 100%, because that would be naïve to say the least.  But because I wouldn't be able to trust her either and, frankly, I never want to see her or hear her name again.  I read many of their emails to each other and my husband cannot claim he was an innocent victim and I have a good idea of what he was saying about me (not good things).  I don't want to have her in my head at all.  I'm not sure if I will stay married (I learned about the affair about four months ago).  The thing I do struggle with is whether to tell her husband.  He already accused her of the affair and she denied it (I know this because he threatened my husband), so he definitely is suspicious.  But I am dealing with a lot right now and don't know if I gave it in me to open that can of worms.[/quote]

Absolutely you need to tell her husband.  The longer he stays in a fake marriage, more years he's wasted....same with you.

I can only suggest you try and get your ducks in a row, financially etc. and file divorce when it's a good time.  I was told many years ago by my lawyer to let him think everything is ok, BUT secretly put money away. Get support from family etc. I filed divorce 2 years later when I was in a great position, best advice from a wonderful attorney.

Show all the emails and text to her husband.  I would also get tested, same with him because who knows how many others he or she slept with. I am betting this is the only time you caught him, and he's probably still sleeping with her since they work together.[/quote]

Quoted PP here.  I've been tested and he has a new job - I told him I couldn't consider staying if he kept working with her - and he's in individual counseling.  It's rough.  I guess right now I've been preparing for the worst and hoping for the best.  As far as the other woman's husband, I'm just not sure.  On the one hand, he totally deserves to know.  On the other hand, he already thinks it happened and I'm wary of what else would happen if I reached out to him.[/quote]

You're afraid of your husband's reaction. [/quote]

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