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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ex-wife used to do a lot of "emotional labor" for me, even though[b] I warned her it was a bad idea.  She was resentful and nagged me for years about improving my relationship with my mother, and sided with my mother in guilting me about things...that is, until my mother pulled one of her manipulative passive-aggressive moves on my ex-wife.  It took her a decade of Emotional Labor to learn the hard way why I kept my distance...all I could say was, "I tried to warn you"[/b].[/quote]

"Woulda, coulda, shoulda..." they say.

So glad you learned your lesson about emotional labor from your failed first marriage and made it clear to wife #2 that you would be responsible for your own relationships.  [/quote]

You are rather bitter, nasty and resentful, aren't you?  Or maybe just lacking reading comprehension?  Just determined that somehow it's all my fault.

My ex-wife is the one who didn't learn. I knew how to and asked her to let me manage my own relationships - she ignored that because she "cared more" and she "knew what was good for me"...and oh, what was that other line, "you'll thank me later for pushing you to do this".  Yes, my first marriage failed because, largely, my ex-wife wasn't able to have healthy give-and-take and boundaries.  Instead she was a controlling, insecure neurotic - and did a remarkable job of playing the martyr.  I did learn one thing: what to avoid...like the plague.  And that starts with martyrs.  Grow up and take some responsibility for your own emotions.  If your husband is such an ass, dump him, don't just whinge about it.

And don't talk about how the kid changes all that - if your husband is that lame, it's better for your kid(s), male or female, to grow up seeing that that kind of behavior isn't acceptable.[/quote]

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