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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Reply to "When people say they are not SAHM material"
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[quote=Anonymous]1. I struggled with the isolation. Yes, I tried mom's groups. I tried making friends. I tried it all, but the bulk of time home with small children you are working alone with your kids. I had a touch of PPD with my second (which thankfully I had the time to be treated. I didn't have it with my first and my therapist thinks the isolation may have been a contributing role (but not determinative because PPD is obviously hormonal and an effect of giving birth). 2. I absolutely suck as the main home keeper. I am messy. I don't enjoy cleaning. I fall behind on laundry and everything (when I was a SAHM my DH actually would do laundry at night, fold and put away in the morning because I just didn't keep up. Yes, I was guilty, which led to...) 3. Economically, I needed to work absent a huge draw back to our lives. Want vacations? Retirement? College funds? Decent health insurance? I provide these things and they weren't there when I was home because we were stretched so thin. 4. My marriage. I just felt so lop sided with DH. I didn't have anything of my own. Yes, I could have hired sitters or rushed out the second he walked in or took hours out of the weekend (the sole time we actually all were together) to do my stuff. But instead, I spent naps working on housework and dinner. 5. It didn't make our lives easier. It was a hard one to admit. Our lives are fundamentally better with me working. There's less wear and tear on our home. The kids are in an amazing montessori school (no I do not have the patience or desire to home montessori school my kids). My DH is happier because he doesn't feel like he is alone working and having a family. We are better partners. 6. Yes, I know all roads lead to I absolutely sucked at this endeavor. I don't think my experience is the same or better or worse. It's just mine. It makes me sad to be judged, but I'm not SAHM material. I think other people are but it's like anything, it's a matter of personality and your own personal life. I don't know it. But I know mine, and yes, it was a wreck for me to be a SAHM.[/quote]
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