Reply to Deciding to have kids later- do you regret/ are you happy?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
This is the PP who thanked the male PP for sharing this experience.

To the male PP, the decision of getting your starter home was it simply to own a home and not pay rent, or did you ever believe that the home might be enough for your family's future needs (before #2 came along)?

I want to be a SAHM while the baby is young (and to save on child care costs) while my SO makes just over 100. We are looking further outside of the immediate metro area to buy a home but very much torn between staying within commuting distance for his work and having a townhome or going for remote working and having a single fam home.

Decisions, decisions. Not an easy time! [/quote]

This is the male PP. We were in a 2 BR condo with a 1-year-old, and were eager to have more space and a real neighborhood for our kid to grow up in. So we went for a house that ticked most of the boxes -- good schools, decent commute, seemed family-friendly. The only thing we didn't get was the fourth bedroom, since 4 BR houses in our Bethesda neighborhood seemed to command prices at least $200k higher than 3 BR. And if we had only 1 kid, the "starter" house would have worked as a forever house, too, I suppose.

But now, with 2 kids, it's become evident that eventually we'll need more space -- a 4 BR for guests or a home office, since the demands of family have led to each of us working from home more often (when kids are home sick from school, for instance); a usable basement so our increasingly rambunctious and energetic children have a good space in which to hang out, especially when they become  tweens and teens  (instead of our tiny, finished-but-not-nice basement, good mostly for doing laundry and storing things); space big enough for entertaining family and friends, etc.

I can understand the desire to have your own place. Just consider how long you'll be in it, and whether it's worth losing the transaction costs of buying and selling a starter home and buying a forever home later. And remember that whatever you choose, things will work out! Good luck!

[/quote]

To the posters of 13:19 and 13:49. You 2 are the nicest people I have come across on DCUM. Thank you for your insight, experience, and details. I wish it were possible to know you in real life off the internet, especially given that we're all on DCUM meaning we're relatively "neighbors".

13:19: Your last line was so uplifting and helpful. I never gave transaction costs of buying and selling a starter home much thought til this point. I also didn't think at 32 that the conversation to have children and deal with TCC would be so vital to the entire future of becoming parents.

All in all, the only thing I wished I had done differently would be to have met my future hubby sooner then having to wait for engagement, wedding, and house buying in order to have the first child would be on a much more flexible timeline. Having 3 years to have 2 kids sounds really overwhelming to me right now. My feeling is that I'll probably not have #2 until I'm 36 or even 37 if fertility works in our favor. But at least now I know I need to have #1 by 34/35. Public media makes you think it's fine to have babies at 40, and based on what people have shared here, it's not that you can't have them at 40, it's just less ideal when you want more than 1, and you both want to be healthy.

If I could buy 13:19 and 13:49 a cup of Starbucks I totally would! [/quote]

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