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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Depends on the woman:
-younger than 30?  I see her like me trying to get adulthood going, enjoying the newlywed bliss etc.  I was her 10 yrs ago so I can relate as a "past me"
-coworker my age (mid-30s) or older?  Friendly but nothing in common.  I'm thinking of my kids, they are thinking of their hobbies.  They don't want kids...I don't have time for hobbies.  I just try to stick to work-related conversations as our personal lives are totally different.  
-any age and I find out (not by asking) but if they share as they want kids?  Then I can relate as my children were conceived via fertility treatments.

Otherwise, I really don't care that much what other people do/don't do with their lives. Perhaps because I was 32 and had plenty of disposable income but felt so unfulfilled before my babies, I really could care less if they have better stuff.  But if stuff or travels or whatever makes them feel more fulfilled than a child, good for them!

But the ONE thing I feel give up when you don't procreate is the right to judge children/parents.  You really have NO clue unless you've been a parent.  And just because you become a stepmom or stepdad when a kid is half grown (as my aunt who thinks of herself as a mom for marrying a man with a teenage daughter), you still have NO clue what it is like to be a parent to small children.  [b]So when a 6mo old is crying on an airplane, you have no right to complain.  You were a crying 6mo old at one point too but because you checked the "no" block to parenting... you have NO idea.[/b]

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I disagree with this.  Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I have to tolerate horrible behavior from other people and their kids.  They made a choice to have them.  They like to wax eloquent about the joy of motherhood.  Great.  Guess what?  You don't get to tell me how great your life is because you are a mom and how empty mine is and then play the "you don't know what it's like" trump card when your children are being obnoxious.

I never judge a parent for a crying child.  But I do judge a parent who doesn't make an effort to remove the crying child from a restaurant or other venue where it might be really affecting other people.  An airplane is different because it's impossible to step outside with the kid.  But even still, I've seen parents respond by at least trying to quiet their child, and even if they aren't successful, I respect them and appreciate that they are trying.

It's the parents who do nothing and let their children just scream and scream and have the attitude that because they decided to have kids, everyone has to deal with it.

[/quote]

^ +1 to all of this.[/quote]

And this is where you are wrong.  You see a parent "letting their children just scream and scream" while the parent may see it very differently.  Do you really think that the parent ENJOYS hearing his child scream?  WANTS to have a kid screaming in his/her face?  Perhaps he or she is handling it but because he is speaking gently to the child and not yelling or hitting him/her, you don't see it.  Perhaps he or she has another child nearby and can't reasonably remove the screaming child quickly.  Perhaps the child has special needs. Perhaps the child is screaming because the parent IS disciplining them so that this doesn't happen next time.  Perhaps they are on an airplane and have behaved impeccably for hours and have had enough of sitting quietly or their ears hurt and there's no way to remove them from the situation or even get them out of their seat while the plane is landing.

Get outside of your own selfish world and think about what those parents are going through when their kid has a public meltdown.  Have some compassion.  Have some empathy.

I always take my kids outside of a restaurant or other areas if they get upset and might disturb others.  But twice now members of the public have flipped out during travel situations, one when my 1 year old who I had spent hours entertaining on a cross country flight got upset for 10 minutes during landing because his ears hurt and a second time when an overtired 3 year old got very upset at an airport traveling hours after bedtime (and was calmed down within 2 minutes, but taking him outside was not an option).  Both time I was told by strangers that I needed to "discipline" my child.  WHAT THE F?  Some people have no clue.[/quote]

I did say that I understand on an airplane that a parent cannot remove the child.  But, yes, in a restaurant (especially an expensive restaurant), I do expect a parent with a screaming child to take the child either to the restroom, outside, or to leave and go home.

I have every right to judge children/parents, just as you have every right to judge women without children.  So you can get off of that high horse.

I don't expect parents to magically make their children stop crying.  But I do expect them to remove their screaming children (when they are able) from venues where other patrons are paying customers.

I am tired of hearing "you have no clue what it is like to be a parent to small children."  I have no doubt it is difficult.  But it is a choice you made.  So, yes, sometimes you have to pick up your screaming child and leave the restaurant.  I realize that is not fun for you, but it is the right thing to do.

I have never complained about a screaming child on an airplane because I understand the options are limited.

And, yes, I have seen parents turn a blind eye to their misbehaving children.  I even once saw a child hit a stranger, and the parent (who also witnessed it) didn't discipline their child nor did they apologize to the stranger.  They just smiled, as if it was cute.  But it wasn't cute.  [/quote]

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