Reply to Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?

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Reply to "Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I didn't read all the replies but I think the short answer is when you are married to the father/mother of your child, even when you are putting the marriage relationship equal to your child, you both have a vested interest because it is your child.  The default assumption is doing everything for your child except when you think it is to the detriment of teaching him/her to be a responsible adult, it puts a strain on your marriage or job, you don't believe your child should do or have x or financially it can't happen. I don't think in the step parent relationship there is that child centered default and in fact tensions are created over time and money resources.  Money spent or time doing x for the step child is money or time not spent doing y as a couple.  When it is your child you may be okay with that, when it isn't your child that may not be your first choice of how time or the money was spent but you make peace with that because your spouse has commitments as a father to his children and honestly you don't get a say.[/quote]

No, you very much do get a say. It's your marriage and your life. Hopefully you and your spouse are on the same page as to what those commitments should be, but you absolutely get a say.[/quote]

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